Always on My Mind you baby...

Friday, May 22, 2015

Things to do..

Laying there
As Beautiful as your stare
in a superstar caption of life
bandaged yet free
rising on your knee
in a Heart prayer of mercy
and Hope
Now that you must rest
lots of ideas pop up
Don't get me wrong ha!
(Or better Do)
my imagination has it all on you
See, you can read those books
you started but never finished,
and bit your friendly ghosts a visit
for a sip of wisdom or a bite of wit
Or watch those films you got Paused
for a calling director shot
Now you can do lots of things in bed baby, 
But at the upper most
You can Replay those beautiful moments of Her,
smiling to you on her way to school.
Or Her penning you her first poem
and then, Smile back
Her magical laugh on a rainy day
feeling in your hand the safety dew
Her superhero is always you
and for her dreams you are the night 
fifteen years old is your sky today
and every other moment will forever be just the weather.

Or You can Close your eyes on His first Step towards you
as Your arms holding him as he falls.
Riding your Heart pony for a giggle
His first Spiderman toy hanging on that cradle
and your sister's red shawl and blue tights
underneath the shorts
as you flew around holding the world
for Him in your time
His first party where you wished to be a fly on the wall 
His cold London Park soccer game 
Boys all nighters PS4s,
Midnight pool stunt
first time on his own, flight
Or On His first trial Shaving Like you
The big one is towering you now
and as strongly having your back as you euphorically cheer.

You'll have lots of things to do,
After your bundle of joy replica
crawls on to you
trying to unwrap the bandages and kiss your pain away
"Just because it's broken
it doesn't mean it's not beautiful"
He said
His eyes are the answers
you spent your lifetime questionning
lots of hugs can heal you
as much as billion of prayers do
Nothing can anymore hurt you
The knight is brave as inside him,
The fight.
Scrap your fears
on his little coloring book
Let your tears off your Image hook
You Have Heart shields all set
and soul wings to soar horizons of sight
You are not alone in your skin
we run in your antibiotic injected veins spin
Hang in there King of His Throne
As powerful and wise
It's another blessing in disguise
Only for the special ones, 
The undercover reveals.
Now see who's at your door
bare feet at your love floor
The universe comes on, the minute they run to you
yet you'll leave it all for a triple warming hug and half a dozen kisses. 


Saturday, May 16, 2015

Anger management...

Sometimes i get mad
at you
for not being more around
when you are
fisting the air you smoke
into my heart longing lungs
still mad!
for not staying more within
when you are
already deeper in
between the eye and its sight
upon the muted lips,
you get to be the unsaid
rambling that i gulp to the throat of my doubt
and the unshed
that i tear all the time of your absence
the nights that are the angriest
are the most quiet 
the more i long
the more they are long
we don't get much along
the waiting and me
and silence is but a something
you can actually hear
flames of fear
eat me alive,
at the howling winds
for not bringing your scent to my senses
instead of the yearning roses breath
at the shooting stars
for not holding you upon it's tail
into my arms
instead of making million heart wishes
come true..
mad at you..
in every beautiful view
that isn't your face
in every melodious orchestra
that doesn't rhyme off your voice
mad at all the gardens of paradise
that blossom at your touch
into others' heavens
and don't grow on my lips
your Desert Rose...
at the rivers flood of your eyes' stares
when i am not in your void
at the liquid measure of your steps
leaving burning traces on my mind skin
turning every thought into a butterfly
that haunts your light
when it gets too dark
for the verse and the prose
at myself for not giving you enough
of what you are in me about
for not being around your intimate stuff
may be when you need more comfort,
i could melt in your 30th cup of coffee 
your sugar
would then be me!

 I Get mad at the air
that don't bring you to my heart
more than you are already there
at your shirts and your glares
i get mad at your unfair fairs
seeing no faces but yours
all the universe hums your voice to my ear
at your wonderful 
freedom mind cell
our own Heaven in their Hell
out of your yearning closet
Acting yourself around 
Babysitting my Fantasies.


Thursday, May 14, 2015

The Early Bird...

It's 10 O'clock!
He arrived early
just like Himself
Got into whoever they want him to be
inviting his soul 
unanswered to the call
He reaches the edges of oblivion
off the Horizons of memory
enchanted by the sun
be it the whole,
or the none
on the run, yet still
listening to them speak
and hearing no one.
Cups of black Coffee chasing each other
all the way to his heart's fast lane
as wise as insane
The Heartbeats win! 

Ready for the shot?
make up done
wearing himself
as Hot
ears wide shut
laughs on riot
He brings out in a glimpse,
his heart
and nerves the erupting veins to plot
whatever is between the lines  
He reads
the unwritten words
pouring out dry
as high as the fall, the fly
doing what he does best
spreading his hurting shoulder
at its widst
striking a pose for a fan on set
this love rain still keeps him wet
and he steps in
as virtuous as sin
the marvelous in his within
and the master of his time.

all in place on sets
as good as it always gets
lines run on his lips
his eyes pierce the air grips
and tell 
of that bounded spell
"who are you?"
Her silence, asked
"that for you to find out
and for me, to discover"
He replied.
without a word 
you will move to this chair
turn around and pass that glare
gun in hand
bullets off his heart
the space is ice
his face is fire
the bird in him,
flaps on a wire
in defense
some of him got spilled
all over the place

They clap
what a snap!
beneath his smile
the world for a while,
neutral to the noise
particular to his poise
picking another Classics on the go
what do they know..
that's a take
first time shots,
has always been his thing
"it was great fun"
taps on his shoulder
smiles all over their lips
another brick of his walls builds
letting it all go
no one cares to know
the fight was merely in punches
but in strikes 
getting ready for the next show
removing this face for a dancing song
it was there all along 
yet it was its time
They hear his satisfying laugh
and on the bloody floor
only one tear


Saturday, May 9, 2015

Back Home...

I tried to close my eyes
answer to my delirious whys
and obnoxious reason
sarcastic at its best
to shutter my heart,
to tear it apart
with my own fears teeth
but i found you beneath
lying within the beat and the sight
breaking of my dawn's light
a thousand moons 
and a splendid sun
the infinite and the one
as whole as none
where to run?
if i have you in between the eye and the lid
Said when shed
starving as fed
the heart of the head
and whatever i couldn't let go of,
see, i tried eating
when i'm not hungry
smoking when i can't breathe
i mocked on my cheeks the rain
and of my drawn smile,
i made fun  
books pages don't turn
cigarette ashes don't burn
silken bed sheets like the sharpest blades of my insecurities,
thoughts were demons
i couldn't sweat them off at my poetic gym
and the butterflies of my mind danced to the fire
of your divine presence
at the alter of my longing nostalgia.
my silence has never been more noisy
and your screams had never been more quiet
but i couldn't shut down that night
of your bursting in me,
the stars of your melancholy
twinkle to my soul
i rise as i fall
mute in your call
i chopped my tongue's arms
and bled in the crack of a verse
the empty streets held my feet
as if we were lovers in the warmest greet
then the calm waves got closer
all i had was wet salt
all over the alleys of my blurry mind skin
i smiled then
because i knew it all along
the blue bird's song
upon the lips of time.
The day got up
in your eyes of mine
like the most eloquent wordless line
running from your loudest dot
to my blindest spot
i see you,
in the darkness of the dark
my Orion of Hope
i untied the words rope
riding in your madness desert
the dunes of ecstacy
the rose bud quivers
in the solitude dew
blooming every time anew
at the reality flog of your coming
and the nursing illusion of my absence.
Nothing is Stronger then what is meant to be
and i will fight, 
with all the yous of you in me.
a sword of word in one hand
and a heart of gold
beating in every-loving you more -life of me.


Thursday, May 7, 2015

The warrior of the light..

You are full
And they are empty
you are pull
and they are push
the ebb of you
is their tide
your are the path
and the ride 
what you need
they don't give
what you give
they just need
you say
they don't listen
to what you utter
but you listen
to what they don't dare to say
they write,
but they can't read
you read
what they don't write
you shake your head
they still their hearts
they shake their heads
your heart for them,
you smile in a frown
they frown in every smile
and when you really reach
they fly away

You come when you go
arriving in your absence
hidden as shown
sparkling in your darkness
The moon of his own
and The Sun
They don't know
what you are about
what you silence, they shout!
They scream
you dream
in your reflections
you are and you seem
your tears
their pout
you're the round
and the roundabout
but you just Rise
in your bursting light
cast your heart sword
mask not your word
you are beyond the battle
and within the silent fight,
the sound
You shine
in the beam of a line
that is said when written
like the time you chase 

yet you carry your sorrow around
like a hump.
eyes blur
tears purr
that even when He smiles,
The knight's heart cries on the corners of your soul
But you nevertheless, rise
as glorious and as wise
The Master of His own fate
and the fated of his mastery
chest bare to the blades
heart shielded with your Chevalieray
The knight of His Night
The one warrior of the light
Who had the heart to dream
when They all just fell asleep.


Monday, May 4, 2015

Heart Buisness...

What's with all the drama!
me asking myself
picking dusty books at
off my shelf
what is it exactly do you want?
(Me scolding my lunatic whining self)
unconditional you always said!
so what if he floated a bit!?
don't you want him to be himself?
hold on to your words or never say them!
or is it your untamed ego again?
my inner conscious talking some sense to me
at the totally wrong time i think!
but then the lover in me taking over
Yes..i want your happiness
Even knowing i won't touch it
as it burst in your dimples flash
or that cute moment when you fold your eyes
but since you even stopped to share your eyes words
i am only in the gutter of your mood speculations
and your obstinate silence doesn't help much there!

Yes i want you always soul healthy and Heart fit!
most humorous in the wisdom of wit
knowing i won't get to hide
in your mightiest eloquent biceps
or pose by your bragging articulated veins
i wont be the one preparing you healthy mind dishes
and secretly skipping on the insomniac nights 
with sneaked in big thriller macs and verse fries 
in bed...
Doritos bags of love quotes 
and an on stream of the black list
along with the random thoughts' kids cuddles,
getting away with the guilt
and your smoke rings drawing me circles of tainted air
i won't be the there of everywhere..
But Yes! i want you on top of the wordily world!
even knowing i wont get to share a red carpet fan moment with you
stretching my hand for a trembling shake
or a scented you flying kiss
i won't be an award for you to childishly hug and bless
i won't be at the back stage of your head while giving that funny speech
i won't be hiding in your hair's park as you swing your fingers for inspiration
i won't be that lighter in your pocket
you keep touching for some fire escape exits
when it suddenly gets too hysterically loud
and unfair.
Yes i want you the best of everything
that remains
knowing i cant keep away the thorns of the roses to my heart
and only give you the nectar
being as close as far
i can't hide all those sad news to myself and make you only read
the comics and the horoscopes
i can't stop all the alphabetical clocks till you arrive
so they stop complaining you are late!
late for what, for god sakes!
you are time darling, in a D&G poetic wardrobe
the slickest time could ever get
and the most enchanting for that matter 
breathing moments in your volcanic blare   

But still it's not enough...
for i can't uncry those tears you shed in a scene
and pretended you were acting
I can't unhug those arms you held once and they left
with pieces of your chest
i can't unwrite those poems,
you heart-recited before your eyes
in former red Tag Heuer specs,
or how they made it to your bookmarks
i can't be what i want to be
i can't even let you let me
i can't wish it either
shooting stars don't work for me anymore
knowing it all
i can't unlove you
even if you want me to
i would only love you more
knowing you might kick me out
off your heavenly hellish presence
for some peace of mind
so my love,
feel free to break my heart
its a privilege for my heart to be broken
by the only one who made it into the bloody pumping life business. 


My Poems Recitations for My Shah...

VFXed.. Dreams.. Fan Notes..