Always on My Mind you baby...

Saturday, June 8, 2019


the man coming out of my coming
going into the heart of my going
rising on to my every eclipse
like thousand splendid suns

where my still river runs
my land vigorously, fruit
my probable absolute
my loudest quietude
As my eyes violin
your lips 
where my dreams, dream
of what is and what may seem
Dancing in my morning coffee steam
the waltz of wait
dipping my lips in my nemesis nectar 
laughing at the odds,
and collecting my"wildest what ifs" in a pandora's box
of faith.
rolling upon my cheek
and curling in my for no reason,
smiling streak
where my rock bottom darkness hits its peak
your eyes lights then sneak
and we hope-mate
so full of me so full of you
riding my herds of longing
like of His own times a Don Quijote
fighting our windmills of fate
is it too late?...
you say, sway, play...
night on me and day
and keep me on your acceptance plate  
when i don't..i do
when a lie is but true
when it's time but never due
when it is not enough, enough
the freedom of my every handwritten-cough
the golden cage of my blue bird
and the infinite horizons to my Icarus,
in your love, mind state.
hiding in the obvious
being the wrongest righteous
roaming the countries of possibilities
in my every breath
And i but a mad vagabond
that into your every blink,
what i say when i don't
what i would when i won't
like my book of you
and like my love for you
As it divinely hymns
And in my draft box they childishly play
the rhymes
for sometimes,
May be, the poet i am...
but always you..
All the poems...
and my heart poetry. 

Saturday, December 1, 2018


He must've graced this space
Down the stairs of the plane
something felt insane
but sweet...
There, must've stepped his Golden-Goosed feet...
and hugged as tight, our souls every time we mind meet...
my burning sighs on repeat..
like his latest ballad in my headphones
as i live this life and as long
only to him, i belong
they thought it was the handbag i am dragging...
but it was just my beating heart, love-lagging...
Ah! he definitely stood there!
for a security point-check
may be on his soft cheek, from another lover, a peck
and fast on this electrical line
he probably had his fans align
just like my at this vision of air, gushes
out now at last!
also, like yours, my hand to my pocket, rushes..
a fire spark and the smoke rings fly
you go only once they say,
so i must do all my wrongs as right
then another one as i, like you, glarringly hid my sight
Me to myself, suggested
as we usually know,
a long black one on the go
a bit chilly outside
so i slipped in my mind hoodie
and scarved my visions of you around
here, you may have took a turn
waving the distance into your own car of time 
i see them, asking about you the howling wind,
the widow park trees of longing
and singing in your name, the street,s as they take my feets's hand,
while they cheering along, dance, the traffic lights.
In the city of your love
i spend my day window strolling
for your wordily picks
hanging out in the small cafes of hope
and fancily dinning with dear expectations
as high as it gets, i do..
painting it all red, my town of wishes
and getting you something special from the universal mall of wait.
there! see!
they do tell about you, these sidewalk shy roses of ecstasy
with my every thought of you, a bloom
a bride is my poem with you as your eyes reciting it, groom...
perhaps you had here a drink or two
the shivering glass in my hand tells
as my mouth, your name, bean-spills
was it the same darkness?
you last time here, with your being, witness..
and Zeroingly, lit!
how could it not be the same, the night!
Me to myself, suggested...
even the moon at me laughed
i shrugged and held my love shawl autographed
what do they know!
that silly sky and n-9 cloud..
i called you in my heart, then aloud...
may be tomorrow then..
Me to myself, suggested...
seeding my hope hopefully, within
as i to the grand lobby rushed in
"He might come down for a photo if you can wait"
my heart skipped its every beat...
i felt the breeze scented your coming,
that must be how you smell like
and the marbled floor gardens at your spring arrival
i slowly turned my head
a silent tear off my smiles siege, fled
as you came closer to where i am
posing with the other woman with the cam
and they finally...
took the shot.

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Mind drive...

Small bottles of water
arranged in the line of hope
waiting to be picked
like my flowing verse
spilling life into you
muted colored buttons
released at your fingers tender caress
yearning in excess
ringtone silent,
but the screen keeps popping
what next?
the noisy texts still hopping
without a sound  
turned on the same page for days, 
that lost book on the left side,
like everything in your love, 
waiting to be around  

a large cup of dark coffee 
you share with yourself
in a moment out of time

will he still be awake...?

and you shut the world off.

the crowd cheers
as the smile. off me, tears
sitting here before a window
and staring at your soul.
the shutterbugs in your name, begging 
cargo pants teasingly, shrugging
then you, in your own you, cocoon 
Some fortune candies hiding, in the door pockets
that taste after the lil one euphoric joy at your the other night,
home coming
a silent window staring at your world face
some weary thoughts to chase  
is it mere luck?
a beautiful swan you made out of the sad lil duck
my verse here for days got stuck...
alone with your enchanting mind
memories on rewind
in that lil allowed time of freedom
ahh how lucky is that leather couch
holding your wonderland body
to where my Alice mind playfully, loves to wonder
as wild as tender
my every wordily touch
if you only knew how much
your every little detail is as much
if only i can be
that warm winter breeze
you necessarily breathe
as i am, invisible
how edible
is your flying messy sun hairs
crossing the continents of distance
right into my sky heart
then you moon
to the starry flashes
for my eyes candy treat
a flying kisses fleet
sail off my lips dock
to your dimpled cheeks
if only my stares could speak
more than your being poetry
a pack of classics waiting to be lit
just like every glance of you, my doubts, hit
some smoke rings ready to off your lips, dance
every pain you romance
if only that nagging knee knows
at your feet, my road shows,
off your Goldengoose steps,
whatever your hand grips
i would be it
so be it
as the engine starts
and the wheels roll
i am on  to my land scroll
taking off with my dreams drive
my heartbeats in your company
in your air i will be
may be invisible, yes...
yet hopefully, still, 
...that necessary.


Wednesday, October 31, 2018


Has it been already a year?
since lifetimes ago and coming
i have been wishing you in my every breath
every heart love and all health and happiness
ease of heart and peace of mind
i put my loneliest nights on rewind
as you on my every darkness, shined
healing all the wounds
and weaving of my tears, 
upon my chest a necklace of hope.
to my you of you, i used to elope
into you i myself of myself , hid
to the home i made with you, in my head
where we paint our fantasy town red
roll the smiles on our faces shed
eat the time butter and bread
and rest in each others arms warmth bed
nursing the moments
Our nectar of love
as we to it, starve...
growing our faith only younger
into your eyes, i would find my shelter
curl in between your lashes, as you linger
and the days blink
what do you think?
what could be more paradise?
that living every time in your heaven eyes,
another year of you is on
another me in you then, gets reborn  
perhaps you don't know
but as hard as it always gets
from you i regain my strength
everyday is a struggle to win
as i almost lose it and give in
you come in your full self attire
pull my hand and shake the wire
for the blue bird to soar
and i can't dare to ask for more
but i do...
i wish me more of you...
just as i more of you, wish you...

may you in the darknesses, to you, prince
may you out of the sadnesses, joy
may you within your loud silences, sing
may you into your golden heart, king
may you to your spread arms once, run
may you for your every endless night, sun 
may you in every staring eye, see but a mirror
and in every shootout, hear but your name
may you into you always hangout,
and feel my craziest heartbeats whenever you, a glimpse of you,
may you in you, find a shelter
and Don the windmills of doubts  
may you come only at your-self coming
and may you never of your coming-self, leave
may you Ghalib only of your rhyming hands poetry 
and Shah Rukh Khan off your soul ink
may you of your lips wine only, drink
and like me, about you, whenever you breathe this life,
may you about your existence wonderlands, dream
may you ice your every pearl of sweat in your honor bet,
may you become who you are and seem
and like me, flow in your own blood river stream
for as long as it takes,
for my every prayer of love for you,
to get in your heart answered.

May you...
Meer you of your gentleness,
Latif-Fatima you all your tenderness,
Lala-Rukh you more strength,
Gauri you the patience of solace
May you...
Aryan you of your grace
Suhana you of your radiant beauty
and may you AbRam you the innocence,
your miraculous being every moment in this life,

What more to wish you
but to wish you
more of the you-est you of you
warped in my tight hugging arms' ribbons 
and sealed with your flying kiss signature prose. 


Happy Birthday my love...
May Allah blesses u with more of u
because there is no more blessing than that.
Always urs... Ab.



Thursday, March 15, 2018


May be I am afraid to meet you
Because when I do, when I don't,
I stay and never leave
I atheistically then believe
that the northern wind my lullabies,
that the sea waves then have wings
that the moon speaks
and that the sun rays upon your face,
have lips.
May be I am afraid to meet you
because when I do, when I don't,
I become too beautiful for sadness
I hug you, and time then,
stands still
the world fades away
and our tight arms kiss
and love tell
may be I am afraid to meet you
because when I do, when I don't,
I do accept myself
I forgive
I hold my soul within you
as tight
because when I do, when I don't,
I fight
I become but sunlight
I rise to my own right
I then, fly
out of my patience cocoon
I colorfully then, butterfly
and into your warmth sky,
what next?
may be I am afraid to meet you
because when I do, when I don't,
I have already all my lifetimes lived
they come true,
all those dreams I have of u once
they turn into reality
all those birthday wishes
I to my flickering candles
ever wished
there would be no more homeless vows for me
to in your name,
and more hungry stray dogs of hope
then for me to in ur name,
nothing more of this mad world
I need
when I have once with my flesh heart,
your flesh heart, touched
God's heavens I see
when ur eyes see me
when ur lips breathe my name
for me to be
when I am in ur sigh wind
but dancing dust
when I find myself at last,

May be I am afraid to meet you,
because when I do, when I don't,
your eloquent hands verse my rhyming fingers into poetry
I then Cohen  and Auden
I Rumi and Shams
As your hands Ghalib and Drake
when we word shake
the promises we never make, my love,
we never break
they grow in the mustard fields of our faith palms
and the mandolin tunes play
when your messy hairs at my waiting cheeks,
mercilessly sway
as hard as my longing
and Like your velvet with your-own self- coming shot,
scattered around my fire gazes,
like your gasping heartbeats, at my hunter grips, prey
and I heroically surrender
to your hairs stares armies of wonder
and want
Another place then is the place
new time is the very same time
fate becomes a dear friend
and I single-handedly demolish
all those "what if" sand castles of lament
rainbows of happenings in my eyes
you do heal in me everything
may be I am just afraid to meet you
because when I do, when I don't,
I know
I just don't let go
may be that is why...
if only I could know.
if only i would know...


Sunday, January 7, 2018

within me...

Would you please come out
of my morning coffee steam
lay out of my whole night long dream
on this kitchen table
let's see if you are able
to rinse yourself off my trembling skin
how dare you to my sweat pores as i work you out of my soul, grin?
And if possible,
spell your name off my prayers gospel
let me anything but in your voice, murmur
wash your sun face away off my mirror
Hold your open arms still as i hopelessly in my helpless shame,
eat your honey smile off my toast
let me in my 10 minutes microwaved wishes, roast
see, i just had my breakfast burnt!
funny till now, right?
now get off my one eye window
sneak no more of those playful curtains of my verse
it has been lately nothing but total eclipse
is it really that impossible?
For your eyelids not to strip bare into my daylight visions?
i need to see you properly
out of my fantasies portraits
I need to sip every tear you unshed
every drop of your fears blood
you have a hungry vamperess in me alright!
and having that said,
perhaps yes i would
taste of you a bit
with my burning sighs soufflé
your juicy sealed lips for dessert, bite
And chew on your mushy silence main course.

I dunno what is worse
your not coming to my eyes once
or your forever in them, home stay
your stare dancing on the tune of my longing
or my longing singing on the tune of your stare?
what to your absence should i wear?
i stand before my poetic hangers
wrapped in a towel of your eyes metrical wonders
what should i pick?
this floral spring dress of hope metaphors
or may be that perfect pair of faith jeans 
all ripped
the high heels of my all night dreams with you
or the flat sneakers of my long day realities without you
the colors change upon the touch of my time fingers
and turn the seasons at the mere eclipse of your away blinking
what were you thinking?
when you hide in my waiting pockets
as i accidentally for a fate surprise fetch
popping out of my patience training shorts 
and i deeply all over my shaking body off this treadmill of then joy,
i hear your muted call
reaching out to your to mine mating soul
i wish you would reconsider this high dam wall
because between us darling,
there is only a Nile flood
as vigorous and as fertile
it took me a while
to sprinkle my face with this aromatic truth
and your Gucci Rush presence within my wrist
your gaze safety eyeliner
upon my cheeks, your hands blush
and just as plush
i wore your lasting forever words lipstick
holding my in you ultimate designer bag of belief
ready to conquer this whole sad world
within your armor glass glares smiling hug
For it's time to go out!
at the odds laugh and pout
nothing can take it away from us my love,
what we already had!
i happily then hold your coming hand tight
as i slap their door of doubt
on my way out,
and away,
i threw the key.

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Forever after...

There is a place beyond all places
where we just meet
a space bigger than all spaces
that is as classic and obsolete
where we sail in happiness fleet
a love that is more than love we love
 a life of you in my every heartbeat
a house with walls of giggles
and dream rooms of sweet
with designer furniture of your to me comings
and my warm wishes for you leather comfort greet
a kitchen where i cook you every night
of my mind dishes a treat
and feed you with my love fingers,
as you hungrily my love fingers,

There is a time longer than time
where we longingly standstill
a pregnant wind that aches your name to my face
a bed of earth that holds at my chase,
your feet
as i to you, run 
is born a brighter sun
burning off the the womb of our patience
a light that is lighter than light
when i see nothing but your shaded sight
when the night gets nighter than every night
you become to me day
when the roads turn
and all my dream castles burn
you bridge into me the way
tree your soul for my hope seeds
roll your mind for the fire of my weed
as i ring smoke the fears away
there is a distance that is worlds away
that we erase in a blink
what did you think?
as we by the bar of fate
share our solitude drink
the pretty odds lady wink
and the moment fella pours of our faith
another round
for there is a sound that is than all sound,
when u never say my name
a ground that gets only harder
when u in my sky, fly
there is a Cohen song i hear in your laughter
and poetry lines spill, when u cry
there are streets that are than all streets, lonelier
where we go walking hand in hand
sharing funny jokes and punny one liners
and cities of thoughts that are lifetimes older
where we visit everyday, and linger
there is perhaps a Radha in me for your Harrinder
and for my Rumi heart, in you, a Shams
there is a language that is in our silences, richer
a wordless dictionary where we spell righter
a wait where we wait no longer
and at our every orphan longing breath a shelter
where we home
another universe where we freely roam
yinning as we yang  
and as your little one's smile, tender
there is a life beyond this life my love
where we actually live
and of this life calendar
There is a day that to me is everyday
where i celebrate your into me birthday
with every candle tear a whisper
May your smile always in your face wonder
and in my dreams that are more than dreams,
may we actually live...
forever after.


My Poems Recitations for My Shah...

VFXed.. Dreams.. Fan Notes..