Always on My Mind you baby...

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Hallelujah...

Has it been already a year?
since lifetimes ago and coming
i have been wishing you in my every breath
every heart love and all health and happiness
ease of heart and peace of mind
i put my loneliest nights on rewind
as you on my every darkness, shined
healing all the wounds
and weaving of my tears, 
upon my chest a necklace of hope.
to my you of you, i used to elope
into you i myself of myself , hid
to the home i made with you, in my head
where we paint our fantasy town red
roll the smiles on our faces shed
eat the time butter and bread
and rest in each others arms warmth bed
nursing the moments
Our nectar of love
as we to it, starve...
growing our faith only younger
into your eyes, i would find my shelter
curl in between your lashes, as you linger
and the days blink
what do you think?
what could be more paradise?
that living every time in your heaven eyes,
longer...
another year of you is on
another me in you then, gets reborn  
perhaps you don't know
but as hard as it always gets
from you i regain my strength
everyday is a struggle to win
as i almost lose it and give in
you come in your full self attire
pull my hand and shake the wire
for the blue bird to soar
and i can't dare to ask for more
but i do...
i wish me more of you...
just as i more of you, wish you...

may you in the darknesses, to you, prince
may you out of the sadnesses, joy
may you within your loud silences, sing
may you into your golden heart, king
may you to your spread arms once, run
may you for your every endless night, sun 
may you in every staring eye, see but a mirror
and in every shootout, hear but your name
may you into you always hangout,
and feel my craziest heartbeats whenever you, a glimpse of you,
encounter   
may you in you, find a shelter
and Don the windmills of doubts  
may you come only at your-self coming
and may you never of your coming-self, leave
may you Ghalib only of your rhyming hands poetry 
and Shah Rukh Khan off your soul ink
may you of your lips wine only, drink
and like me, about you, whenever you breathe this life,
think
may you about your existence wonderlands, dream
may you ice your every pearl of sweat in your honor bet,
cream
may you become who you are and seem
and like me, flow in your own blood river stream
for as long as it takes,
for my every prayer of love for you,
to get in your heart answered.

May you...
Meer you of your gentleness,
Latif-Fatima you all your tenderness,
Lala-Rukh you more strength,
Gauri you the patience of solace
May you...
Aryan you of your grace
Suhana you of your radiant beauty
and may you AbRam you the innocence,
your miraculous being every moment in this life,
enchants.     

What more to wish you
but to wish you
more of the you-est you of you
warped in my tight hugging arms' ribbons 
and sealed with your flying kiss signature prose. 

       

Happy Birthday my love...
May Allah blesses u with more of u
because there is no more blessing than that.
Always urs... Ab.

        

     

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Punctuation...

May be I am afraid to meet you
Because when I do, when I don't,
I stay and never leave
I atheistically then believe
that the northern wind my lullabies,
sings
that the sea waves then have wings
that the moon speaks
and that the sun rays upon your face,
have lips.
May be I am afraid to meet you
because when I do, when I don't,
I become too beautiful for sadness
I hug you, and time then,
stands still
the world fades away
and our tight arms kiss
and love tell
may be I am afraid to meet you
because when I do, when I don't,
I do accept myself
I forgive
I hold my soul within you
as tight
because when I do, when I don't,
I fight
I become but sunlight
I rise to my own right
I then, fly
out of my patience cocoon
I colorfully then, butterfly
and into your warmth sky,
nest
what next?
may be I am afraid to meet you
because when I do, when I don't,
I have already all my lifetimes lived
they come true,
all those dreams I have of u once
dreamed
they turn into reality
all those birthday wishes
I to my flickering candles
ever wished
there would be no more homeless vows for me
to in your name,
shelter
and more hungry stray dogs of hope
then for me to in ur name,
feed
nothing more of this mad world
I need
when I have once with my flesh heart,
your flesh heart, touched
God's heavens I see
when ur eyes see me
when ur lips breathe my name
for me to be
when I am in ur sigh wind
but dancing dust
when I find myself at last,
Home.

May be I am afraid to meet you,
because when I do, when I don't,
your eloquent hands verse my rhyming fingers into poetry
I then Cohen  and Auden
I Rumi and Shams
As your hands Ghalib and Drake
when we word shake
the promises we never make, my love,
we never break
they grow in the mustard fields of our faith palms
and the mandolin tunes play
when your messy hairs at my waiting cheeks,
mercilessly sway
as hard as my longing
and Like your velvet with your-own self- coming shot,
soft
scattered around my fire gazes,
like your gasping heartbeats, at my hunter grips, prey
and I heroically surrender
to your hairs stares armies of wonder
and want
Another place then is the place
new time is the very same time
fate becomes a dear friend
and I single-handedly demolish
all those "what if" sand castles of lament
rainbows of happenings in my eyes
swing
you do heal in me everything
so,
may be I am just afraid to meet you
because when I do, when I don't,
I know
I just don't let go
may be that is why...
if only I could know.
if only i would know...

   

Sunday, January 7, 2018

within me...


Would you please come out
of my morning coffee steam
lay out of my whole night long dream
on this kitchen table
let's see if you are able
to rinse yourself off my trembling skin
how dare you to my sweat pores as i work you out of my soul, grin?
And if possible,
spell your name off my prayers gospel
let me anything but in your voice, murmur
wash your sun face away off my mirror
Hold your open arms still as i hopelessly in my helpless shame,
wither
eat your honey smile off my toast
let me in my 10 minutes microwaved wishes, roast
see, i just had my breakfast burnt!
funny till now, right?
now get off my one eye window
sneak no more of those playful curtains of my verse
it has been lately nothing but total eclipse
is it really that impossible?
For your eyelids not to strip bare into my daylight visions?
i need to see you properly
out of my fantasies portraits
I need to sip every tear you unshed
every drop of your fears blood
you have a hungry vamperess in me alright!
and having that said,
perhaps yes i would
taste of you a bit
with my burning sighs soufflé
your juicy sealed lips for dessert, bite
And chew on your mushy silence main course.

I dunno what is worse
your not coming to my eyes once
or your forever in them, home stay
your stare dancing on the tune of my longing
or my longing singing on the tune of your stare?
what to your absence should i wear?
i stand before my poetic hangers
wrapped in a towel of your eyes metrical wonders
what should i pick?
this floral spring dress of hope metaphors
or may be that perfect pair of faith jeans 
all ripped
the high heels of my all night dreams with you
or the flat sneakers of my long day realities without you
the colors change upon the touch of my time fingers
and turn the seasons at the mere eclipse of your away blinking
what were you thinking?
when you hide in my waiting pockets
as i accidentally for a fate surprise fetch
popping out of my patience training shorts 
and i deeply all over my shaking body off this treadmill of then joy,
fall
i hear your muted call
reaching out to your to mine mating soul
i wish you would reconsider this high dam wall
because between us darling,
there is only a Nile flood
as vigorous and as fertile
it took me a while
to sprinkle my face with this aromatic truth
and your Gucci Rush presence within my wrist
your gaze safety eyeliner
upon my cheeks, your hands blush
and just as plush
i wore your lasting forever words lipstick
holding my in you ultimate designer bag of belief
ready to conquer this whole sad world
within your armor glass glares smiling hug
For it's time to go out!
at the odds laugh and pout
nothing can take it away from us my love,
what we already had!
i happily then hold your coming hand tight
as i slap their door of doubt
on my way out,
and away,
i threw the key.

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Forever after...

There is a place beyond all places
where we just meet
a space bigger than all spaces
that is as classic and obsolete
where we sail in happiness fleet
a love that is more than love we love
 a life of you in my every heartbeat
a house with walls of giggles
and dream rooms of sweet
with designer furniture of your to me comings
and my warm wishes for you leather comfort greet
a kitchen where i cook you every night
of my mind dishes a treat
and feed you with my love fingers,
as you hungrily my love fingers,
eat

There is a time longer than time
where we longingly standstill
a pregnant wind that aches your name to my face
a bed of earth that holds at my chase,
your feet
as i to you, run 
is born a brighter sun
burning off the the womb of our patience
a light that is lighter than light
when i see nothing but your shaded sight
when the night gets nighter than every night
you become to me day
when the roads turn
and all my dream castles burn
you bridge into me the way
tree your soul for my hope seeds
roll your mind for the fire of my weed
as i ring smoke the fears away
there is a distance that is worlds away
that we erase in a blink
what did you think?
as we by the bar of fate
share our solitude drink
the pretty odds lady wink
and the moment fella pours of our faith
another round
for there is a sound that is than all sound,
sounder
when u never say my name
a ground that gets only harder
when u in my sky, fly
there is a Cohen song i hear in your laughter
and poetry lines spill, when u cry
there are streets that are than all streets, lonelier
where we go walking hand in hand
sharing funny jokes and punny one liners
and cities of thoughts that are lifetimes older
where we visit everyday, and linger
there is perhaps a Radha in me for your Harrinder
and for my Rumi heart, in you, a Shams
there is a language that is in our silences, richer
a wordless dictionary where we spell righter
a wait where we wait no longer
and at our every orphan longing breath a shelter
where we home
another universe where we freely roam
yinning as we yang  
and as your little one's smile, tender
there is a life beyond this life my love
where we actually live
and of this life calendar
There is a day that to me is everyday
where i celebrate your into me birthday
with every candle tear a whisper
May your smile always in your face wonder
and in my dreams that are more than dreams,
may we actually live...
forever after.

 


Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Espresso...

Something burns in me
as i see you out of this perfect shot
steaming hot
like an all at once swallowed Tequila tot
and i -the one who doesn't even drink-,
get drunk...
Like what if i was that comfy leather chair you grace?
what if i was that shadow of a shy smile on your face?
that tight in a glimpse life embrace
no matter to how small it shrunk!
humble like my in your love arrogance
sinful like your forgiveness, monk
high on my imagination Caffeine dose,
i wear just a heart...
and a couple of B. Shaw "why nots" wings...

so what if i was that playful lens flash
holding you still in a moment out of time...
what if i classically roll into a pack of fire sighs
laying between your fingers for their eternal rest
and your temporary solace...
what if i stretched into that button chase
unhinged into the freedom of your bare chest
and ironed lined of patience white shirt
then wrinkled to the thrill of fantasy
what if i am that shameless light
tickling in your lazy eyes their sad night
into shimmering laughter
what if i grew into these silver strikes
spear the young hearts
and pierce the Adam apple of wait in two
i even went further
into being that messy mane of shelter
upon your royal head
thin as your every thick hair in my air
and dark night shinning in your everywhere
like a moonless desert sky glare
giving your mind in me a life
where your thoughts butterfly
and my verse for you, springs

Then i crazily brewed my soul
Nespressoed into your arriving on time first thing in the morning,
 traveling mug 
i become to your satisfied smiles then, a thug
running away with what i got
your happiness dimples
when in between yourself and you
i haphazardly 140 characters pass by
my then, oh my...
i suit on in your hanging black Armanis
waiting to be for the day, picked
drip myelf in your seasoned Parisian Diptyque
and get sprinkled upon you
one wild thought at a bloom
to my bridal eyes my love
you groom
where i of my love dresses poetry, lose count
As you take my yearning hands to the dance floor
and my heart then, sings

Then you speak
love ballads on a streak
Burst!
when you do
i then mic myself in your fleshy hands
as you tenderly hug me
like your love on to me, holds
i go on
Golden-Goosing your tiered 43 sized feet
sneackering this rocky road away
let them whatever they want, say!
ahead we will go
the path then will itself show
where the winds of faith blow
and yellow, the fields of belief

See how mad i am?
i see you smiling by now
Asking from this lunatic lover, for help
my heartbeats for you, louder chirp
when you my deep love syrup, silently, slurp!
between yourself and you
what more can i of you,
turn into?
i smile too!
out of my poetic cocoon
to your Caffeinated swoon
keep it always as strong my love
just the way we like it
and like your Espresso flowing in me
this lusciously hot and sugar free.  







Thursday, August 17, 2017

The Uncountable(s)...

If you are to count your breaths,
taking our breaths loving you, away
count them!
we are more
If you may count your heartbeats
beating our loving you in our hearts
for the life of me, do it!
we are still more!
If you can count the stars falling of your night hair
turning our long darkness into daylight, 
count!
we will outnumber your hair
if you can count the tears
we at your sadness shed
go ahead!
we will always lead the tears chart ahead
If you are to then count the smiles
you wholeheartedly on our faces thread
be my guest!
we are far more than the forum smiles
and your shy to show on screen from the heart, laughter 
and if you even might
try counting of your eyes the light
that made us win this everyday fight
just at your shinning sight
we take over every plight
wearing your love armors
and our infinite in you, faith

Let's see if you can count the love
that made a girl on her sleeping feet, before you, stands
that made a woman spells your name,
with a heavy tongue
that made a simple man work harder
beneath a hanging banner of your words
that made a lonely mother have the world by her side
just because you are
that made an ailing father feel like us as proud
because he has like you, a son.
that made us feel with you, a whole one
together we get this life done!
our battles bravely won
when you simply sun...
and yes tell me, how can you count the fun?
we all have when your dimples at us, get undone...
our love filmstrip is a forever run
released at your every blink
and ruling the numberless-office ever since.
 
So, let's see if you can be at math that clever
if you can count this heart's every shiver
at the mere mention of your name
how life is never the same
at your every coming frame
if only you could put into figure
how much languages we could decipher
at your encrypted stare
the hope we hopefully wear
at your each celluloid party
where the drinks of thrill are for free
and with abandon are the delights of belief.
and if you could
try counting the hugs
we flesh give or soul send
the bleeding wounds your healing love signs mend
the virtual arms you linguistically spread
made the hard times before our power then, bend 
only you can comprehend

our love can't come in numbers my love
and like you, i am that bad at math! 
though we are twenty seven million lovers by now,
and counting.   


      

 
 

Friday, August 11, 2017

Update

Today i ran for 5km.2
took a long shower and went for a walk
the streets and i talk
and the hot breeze listened
to the sad song of my feet
i also finally got to unpack
it's been only two days back
that i unfolded my excitement tee
and jumped into my happiness perfect pair of jeans 
to the dreams hall where we soul met  
it was all so beautifully set!
i threw my tantrums at the boiling pot
then i invited my annoying neighbor to lunch
laughed at her silly jokes
to tears...
i had coffee with my fears
low fat cookies on a China plate of my-about you-
worry
i rearranged my what if(s) drawers
dusted the happy memories book shelves
mopped these silly doubts off my mind floor
and stared for an hour at the bloody door
as if you will anytime come knocking
a big smile on your face and your king size, like my love, wordily, hug
and with both trembling hands i held that steaming mug
of belief
but after a long write on a blog page that remained blank,
my heart sank...   
Every verse is a scandal
how do i poem you?
without stripping my soul 
dancing around your eyes pole naked
in a ballad of wishes  
Every sigh is but ablaze
how do i breathe you
without burning the northern wind 
blowing my longing in the void
only you can refill
you tell!
when every silence is a scream
how do i pray your name
without the universe hymns echo,
Amen.
Every tear is but a flood
how do i cry you
without drowning in your absence mud
growing rain forests of halt
and a harvest of anticipation   
Every time unit is but an Everest summit
if they still consider it Highest!
centuries pass on me as seconds 
holding my heart glass hour
and counting the sands of my fading heartbeats
at your empty harbor
if only i can grow wings for shelter
deeper dimples for your laughter
or may be continents far spread my arms tighter
light their blind eyes wider
get to be your freedom fighter!
and you my noble cause
with a shield of a prose
and a whole scabbard of poetry
if i may i would
be the ground you stood
the have"s" you should
so you never would
if only i could...
Dylan the times away
for my love, they are a changing
man this life piano
on your looney tunes
and seek in me what is you, seeking.
Rise stronger
at your back an army of your full wonder
the fields of smiles you once seeded, 
will back at you now linger
and the skies of possibilities you cracked open
will upon you, love hail.
unbutton this pain shirt
and show off your power tattoo
we are just lost without you
my heart and i...
and yes i forgot to tell you,
the rest of the day i spent by the window
had a mango,
and a whole pack of wait.   
   
   

           
 

My Poems Recitations for My Shah...

VFXed.. Dreams.. Fan Notes..