Always on My Mind you baby...

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Trick or treat?

I want to be the reason why you can't go on
and you can't quit
That irritating and necessary
I want to curl by the tip of your tongue,
at the doorstep of your resistance for a fix
addicted to your roaring hiss
To slip on your cheek when it rains sweat.
To itch where you can't scratch
and to stop when you only need more
I want to be the mad wave to your calm shore
always coming to you for a kiss
i want to be when you have it all,
that one thing you know you miss
when at your best, your worse
The inter to your course
the whisperer to your horse
and its humming wind.
I want to rush in your veins
like at my sight, your Adrenaline
that sweetly saline
as i poetically claim you mine
without your consent
your temple of repent
would be my bosom
and my eyes,
your alleys of lament
i want to taste your fear scent 
be your Halloween lit pumpkin 
wearing your indifference attention
and my soulful stunts' hat
rising in your Classics smokey flat 
in every haunting thought
burning in the ashtray of your insomnia
and hurling beneath the poems
you secretly echo to the winds of your solitude
chasing my every wordily ghost
seeking what seeks you the most
in the valleys of familiar darkness
that strange and intimate
every heart beat you skip
i sip
like the fine wine of nostalgia
your absence sometimes pour into me 
i dip
off your hesitation my certainty
and upon my broom of your mischievous tease,
i fly you my heart at ease
in terrifying black and white.

Scary it is my love,
how we telepathically reach out 
your speech off my mind dictionary
and my rhyming prose at your body stationary
so much office work we efficiently get done
my love,
just within your metrical stare margin
and my masqueraded creepy content
So, when they knock on your door,
the costumed children of my mind womb
give them of your eyes some candy-mint
and treat them into the fairies of your soul, 
a hug. 




Thursday, October 29, 2015

Heart wishes...

In the alps of your heart
silly me,
fell in the abyss,
my love
It's burning lava in you
like in the middle of August
And i just want winter rain
i want ice,
when it's almost hell degrees centigrade
on the inside of a dormant hope
your running around empty cobblestones streets in old Dubrovnik
and double espressos in random coffee houses in Sofia
a tranquilized knee pain in the middle of a shoot 
i want it all, with no safety or root
i want a sunset park bench in the times square
i want a laugh that i don't know how to spare
packed up in a suitcase of time
and a backpack of courage
i want your tender savage
i want to take myself on a date
i want to know it's not too late
i want a Classic cigarette but that was once
a guilty pleasure between your lips
i want to touch where your eyes in me
mind kiss

See, i want your early mornings messed up defying hairs
and late night wrinkled sleepless sheets
in smokey, musky, caffeiny halo 
i want to quilt your familiar scent
i want your late night confessions,
i want to my heart, your vent
i want to inhale your voice-mint
and save your tone in my mind's treasury
i want to be your "no clue"
that you have, when they about me, ask you
your third Coffee cup on the row
for the day to go through
and some left over cookies
like me, your lips never touch   
i want random poems on public chirping napkins
that i get at my return of the ladies room
i want your prose wine sips off my eyes bottle
and your metaphoric attention as a main course
i don't even want your bad,
For dessert, my love,
always give me your worse
because i dream of a crashing hug that you would want
out of the bleeding bruises of my soul
that heals your pain.
i dream within my desert mirage,
your monsoon. 

I want dreams, that can't be forgotten
upon coming true
as off my broken wings i flew
unchained of sin and blame
I want to scream your name
with even one single doubt that you heard
I want of your gazes a herd,
Oceans that don't rage in your eyes
and river boats of joy
that i can lay in as you heroically row
I want of your drought, a flow
and in my burning heat, off your hands,
some snow.

I want faces that don't take your handsome features
and voices who talk to me, not in your tone
I want to shake people's hands without flying them a kiss
as if among the crowd, i can be the one you never miss  
I want to eat food that i don't assume if you would like
and fit into a pair of jeans without having to turn around before the mirror
for a sad check
I want to walk in streets where i don't keep inspecting strangers faces
for a familiar loved one
who hides of my eyes behind the blues, my Sun 
to greet a sea breeze without haunting your scent
that i never get to keep in my hair
I want to stop visiting the shores of possibilities
and soak my feet in the salty waves of waiting
I want to read Cohen and Bukowski
in a long train ride to nowhere,
without listening to your steady trying to finally sleep breathing
at my nape
I want to greatly escape
from you to you
and never be found again
oh i wrote this line before!
it comes nagging,
like the truth
that i want so much to believe .   

Perhaps i want so much
of what i can't even dare
but I want all your sadness to share 
I even want of your initials a tattoo
on a spot where even i can't see
I want to tuck your fears beast in me
and never be again the same 
I want books with your name
and a bed of the words you never say
Late night insomniac conversations over black Coffee and dirty jokes
I want life strokes
with a blood system that is not so sweet
and a heart that is twice as strong
I want you to sing me a song
after a card game that you wouldn't let me win
because i am prettier when teased
an upon your late arrival tight hug and hot meal
feet massage and bedtime stories,
I want your ease
but above all,
I want a blank page on refill
and an empty draft box. 

Give it all to me my love
and take only my beautiful
 a little of what you every day, 
with your more than breathing exercise,
holding me guilty of this everlasting smile
that i owe you for the rest of my lifetimes to come
sentenced to your love for every life of me.
so, my love, here's to your golden jubilee
May all your days be as joyfully free
holding you every time in my prayer
till time behaves and wraps your soul up for me
as a fifty multiply infinity grows only younger,

Happy Birthday my Shah, 
I wrapped you my heart wishes 
in a satin box of my verse
i wish this one meets your soul
and keeps you as warm and loved
in my prayers i ask for everything good for you
health, wealth, peace of mind and ease of heart.
Happy Golden Jubilee baby!
5o years younger and inshaAllah,
to eternity.



Friday, October 23, 2015

I am FAN

F A N...
Three letters
made of faces
one species, 
that is equally colorless  
earthly boundless,  
we are your blue birds,
we fly in a sky of our own.
Three featured letters
made of long sleepless nights
and longer awaiting day times
made of at your comings euphoria
and your silence restless stress
made of every word you share
made of those to you we shyly,
made of never having to explain ourselves code
we all seal our hearts with.
made of plane tickets dreams
and uncontrollable tears at your sight
Three letters in our every darkness,
are the never going to be dulled,

Three letters they said,
made of Heartbeats
red back seats
background music,
of heavy breathing
and loud sighs
soulful dreamy cries
then flash lights of reasons
in a clueless reality
we live in a few letters arms
a handle that can
reach out to where even the life air,
we hang in the wireless waves
rising into birdy loving waves
for a chirping sunshine
that hides behind our anticipation sign
wearing black and white
we scream in the mute
every time you tune in your flute
and play the melody of your soul
many worlds tear us apart
many endings that are nothing but another
loving you,
the only way we know how to,
king size   
madness in disguise
but when you call
we howl
you then moon,
as we wolf.

Tears roll
celluloid scroll
our reel real life filmstrip
Heart-wheels upside down
fire ocean crossed to drown
we are free
they can't get what we are about
those who hadn't seen you for us, pout
it is way beyond, even my fanatic words now
and your cracking three alphabetical lifetimes.


Tuesday, October 20, 2015


There are some kisses
that if you didn't die in the middle of it
you don't deserve to live after
and in both cases you are up to the fact
that you really never had before it happened,
this is how your eyes work
drizzling monsoon pleasures in a gaze
arousing storms in every beaming phrase  
contoured with lines of lust
glittered in indifference
your eyes sparkle only in want 
closer to a distance
parting lashes for acceptance
and calling in a muted tongue
that is cornea-ted in the mouth of thirst
ready to swallow me whole
your eyes, deep as your soul
the abyss, 
as i fall

Rising at your juicy sight
as vulnerable as your plight
your eyes breathe life into me
lip-syncing my words into their rhapsody
and as Bohemian
your eyes sing your beautiful tunes
in their hazel olive misfortunes 
Frenshing hope to my Anglo-phonic melancholy
in the cobblestone alleys of my soul's Quartier Latin
and over your London Bridge of Aberrations
They softly press 
your heart news mess
in my cherry lipstick headlines
i read into your soul papers
those banned articles, your editing fingers,
politically forbid
so i put on my words charm card
knock on your shutters door ward
and spell my smooching point of view
in a one on one interview
where your sunshine stare to my dew
as your eyes shooting crew
professionally handle my heart's every daring stunt
living on the edge of your border blink
asking for your tears to drink
and when your eyes wink
i into your brimming hole, sink
mouth-watered in a glare
roller-costarred in a fleshy glowing fare
lips crossed as you beam
your eyes know what to steam
dripping murmur dots  
theses convicted killers soul guardian shots
bring me down to your paradise brim
tossing my verse in a glancing embrace,
revived at your exhale look race
realizing how sweet it is to die in the middle
of your eyes elixir peck  
and taste my most deserving every other lifetime,
whenever your eyes and i,
telepathically lip-lock.


Monday, October 12, 2015

Chocolate box

Where can i start
your every part
makes my blood sugar rise
see, i had spoken to them,
your honey rivers eyes
where the sweetest promises nest
provided for and happenings nursed
delicate breeze spins as you blink
scented ripples dance when you wink
And i drift
in the breathtaking swift
as you, in your long lashes night,
i melt
at the hazel quilt
that only smells like your coming musk
dawn breaks at your rising
time wears its handshakes at your gaze
Ah..My wonder wall maze
i am playfully never wanting to be found,

So, I write,
because i can't soar beneath the stars
i collect them into a necklace of words
around your nerve erupting neck
of solitude, for company
I ode
in your every creation mode
because i can't squeeze of the darkest life clouds,
for your dreams, some rain
to revive in my heart a hope
that in this desert of expectations
somehow, the bud shall bloom
and the fields of wishes will in your drizzle,

I ballad
off your sighs a country of tunes
where i rhythm myself home 
to paint your face a warm rainbow,
with my madness palette
your gaze i chase,
sparkling your eyes with your wonderful 
and sketching upon your every blushing cheek a rose
life gets cruel on all of us at times, my love
i want to make sure i can always carve your juicy craters
deeper, blowing at their every pose a flying stanza
and metaphorically chasing all your reasoning sanity away

 I line
when my days in your nights entwine
because i can't hold the time still
every time you become the time
because i can't spend the mornings
but in your sunshine realms
because i soul curl only in your verse palms
and i can't kiss your eyes goodnight
so i write,
may be the softest rhyme might
reach where my third dimension,

I write
not knowing the fate of the verse
i give birth every single time on my own
in my black forests of pain
giving away my children to your love alter
at the temple of faith,
a kurban.

I write
drunk on my illusion
sober to it's confusion
selfishly claiming security
and selflessly offering it all away
because i can't nurse you some memories
of my colored hair and fair skin
of my virtuous laughs and dreadful handshake sin
i weave you of my imagination breed, some
because i can't before you for real but come undone

I write 
So that i get to hug you
in a world of our own
tuck in my mind life cradle, your angry frown
just as tight as my out of this world, words
So that in between the lines
i meet you
and plant you all my love in a long poetic kiss
upon your yielding eyes'lips,
and capital letters arms crashing embrace.

I write
to ache this sweet tooth i have for you my love
getting scolded by my poetic fitness trainers
every time i taste your coco dripping nectar
in a darkened 99%Lindt verse
and a whole box of Rhyming lifetime-long "kisses". 

Photo is an artwork painting by the talented artist: Wijdan

Tuesday, October 6, 2015


AC is a bit cold
scattered joy sticks
on page 27 open book 
where is the Coffee you just sipped?
that quill in your blood, had dipped  
blowing life lessons into curvy lines
and intimate breaking turns.
Friday nights fevers
around the world agnostic believers
street-less roads of loneliness
paved of protesting nerves and rebellious guts  
"Should i start with the barking memories,
to calm the nostalgic screams?
or get into the euphoric happenings
to scream this nostalgia calm?"
O did i mention your charm?
well, it is how you get there
in the heart of every heart
spelling yourself in a glimpse
and hiding beyond a cheerful mess
too many dying Classics butts
keeping the ashtray as warm
red ink drops
fifteen million love pops
mention-beep never stops
luck that is not by chance
sleepless nights,
insomniac mornings
retake frames and smiling cuts
ice bags for kisses
tenderness lands in the eyes,
he misses 
acting smart
when the joints smart
The prince of darkness
is the nomad of his spotlight
a storm of thoughts breaks in your mind
the journey ecstatically on flash-rewind
tears unseen
pecks on screen
your dimples craze
in hugs ablaze
under stage roars
human hearts floors
where every piece of you pours
craving the love you generously, 

Living in a suitcase
always ready for a soul flight
Home had never been a place
perhaps that is the plight
unanswered queries
wandering in your speech
hopping around the direct preach 
to the humorous spin
it spreads your veins open
that pregnant blank expecting 
in labor pains of recall
delivery could be any minute now
 you space break
and stare in your self's face
for inspiration 
just like i do
when i write you off you
all red wined and marinated
Your smokey breeze
musky, as i breathe
some million miles away
where i helplessly, sit
bleeding to my keyboard   
Linguistically caffeinated
and my lifetime sheet,
just smells like you.
Watching over you,
from behind the curtains of my soul
returning your every call 
encrypting my hymns
on the mellow walls of your thunderous silence.

Taps on the door
your heart crumbles on the floor
For a late night shoot,
they call
you stand as tall
wearing all your expressions designer palette
you turn a bit higher the AC freezing set
unbuttoning your bursting heart's shirt
and dangling another deadly life savior,
that on your way out,
you forgot,
to lit. 






Thursday, October 1, 2015

Hard Core

How long has it been
the years come creeping in
moments of glory
and lifetimes of glin
the leather jackets of screams
and the black boots of euphoria
the rider on his ecstatic beauty assets
at the theater of his life,
the road is but howling flutes
a stranger to his own skin
He lives in his head
in a house of words unsaid 
His Handle is fire
a blue bird on a wire
an Evolution of his own
wind in his hair
love in his eyes
roaming the days'faces
for blooming smile traces
flashing his dimples
holding up high his chin
hills of joy
dunes of laughter
deserts of snow
melt at his whisper
mustard fields sway
at his footsteps play
the stars spin at his humming soul
and the moon of him jealous,
hides its face
flame in his engine
hitting the road of impossibles
nowhere to be found
everywhere around
the rider flies in his lonesome ballad
a perfect man is a  poet with a bike,
he said
and a magical man is the same poet
wearing himself and a hat.
He is perfectly perfect, 
just like that
sipping his beer of nostalgia
and burning in his Classic scented smoke 
feeding on some packs of memories
and walking through the fears, his talk
in lanes of iron head happenings
shifting from one dream to another
swerving the time curves
turning every stone path of despair
into flowing rivers, 
of hope.

He Hammers down to each sky
High siding his sadness 
on the pavement of madness
in a Hole-shot stunt
The Hooligan of his myth
edging of the cliffs of his bliss
He hugs for fuel
and goes on, even when hurt
purified in the glitter of dirt
Hyping up worn
hosed but never torn
you can only rise him up
because nothing can ever
bring the hardcore lover


My Poems Recitations for My Shah...

VFXed.. Dreams.. Fan Notes..