Always on My Mind you baby...

Thursday, December 27, 2012


Just go!
go away
stop chasing my patience in your silent presence
with the noise of your screaming absence
beg no more
i am in to the core
in control
there, out of my reach
be my granted New Year wish
come true
wholeheartedly due
fade away
like childhood promises
with the shooting star
Then stay
as close as far
wrap your heart
with my impossible ribbons
pack your dreams in my box of hope
shine in my beams for fear to elope    
Your Seasons bliss
My longing mess

Hey love, vanish...
from all the faces i see
claim your rights in me
you are Home,
my Refugee
come to light my seasonal tree
i need your pain
run out of my vein
one day i will seize to be
i breathe you as air
mean you when i share
Feel you as much as i dare 
So when it's all insane
glittering love around
like children innocence
that genuine true
for more then a lifetime, i want you
out of the blue
So i hum...

For you to come
rise in the mad chord
ride in my dream your unspoken word
just come
been feeling numb
As without you
is what i can never afford
for you the land is dressed in snow
more fireworks in my sky will blow
just come
upon my heartbeats drum
as i enchantingly sway
never never go away
or ever ever in silly pride obey
my feverish supremacy in control hallucinations.

Bench Monday, cozy home edition.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

At the corner of a memory...

As a little girl
we used to have a tree in class
there in the corner
that we brought in with laughter
much fun sharing 
with all hearts decorating
with each hanging star a wish
we were too small to get anguish
filled with dreams
Christmas was our time of joy
gathered around each with a toy
exchanging with hugs and mere innocence
the world then seemed of no importance
Dressed in red with a white beard
Santa used to visit our school
a believer of hope me,
such a little fool
i even used to buy a new dress
with my friend Catherine i visited her church
gathered my hands together and prayed
God was there
God is everywhere
In the eyes of bleeding Jesus 
as he shines in the Heart of Mohamed
like all children i was an Angel
who never got the fact 
of her best friend not being by her side
in religion class
still that Christmas tree is there
in the same corner as i stare
but where is the season laughter?
where is the jingling carols whisper?
Is it December that lost it's memory?
or have we just sadly grown up...


Monday, December 17, 2012


You make it so hard for me not to love you, he said
love me just..
I said with a blink
like a favorite shirt,
you enjoy it's silken fabric touching your skin
that you would not wanna take it off,
yet eventually you do
you have to
Hanging it in your wardrobe for your next comfort seeking rush
in a memory's gush
along with a flashing face
that instantly fades
For your longing serenades
love me, like an all times melodious tune
Softly humming in your head
as you move on ahead
holding you grounded to where you felt yourself the most
Rising a tost
To us and Our guilty pleasures

love me, like a much awaited visit
that brings you gifts and presents, then goes
like that Excited spark in your eyes who knows
naked truth it is, our vows
love me like a peculiar scented moment
that sticks to your sense then grows
as the wind of sanity blows
shaking our lies to Exposition
Bare we stand
beneath the wind
love me, without asking for shelters
love me, like it is all going to end up soon
love me, like heavy rain, be it a monsoon
love me like a thunderous wreck
like an angry Hurricane slick
love me this euphorically flowing
love me without thinking where are we going
quit the ingredients lists  for the logic chefs
we are the mad wanderers schmucks
love me more when i am frightened
Without you on its own, sucks!
love me without knowing why or when
end with me and within me begin
love me like your last pack of cigarettes
which flavorly touch your lips
then slips
into its burning fate fire
love me, like your morning first coffee sip
that hungrily slides along your tongue tip
love me, like a wild safari trip
to the jungles of your mind
put me dearly on rewind
and start me all over again
we don't have much of a forever
and safely is not where we pull our trigger
love me then like a daring game
that you must win
like an unforgivable sin
that you will spend your eternity repent

Cut all my veins with your absence knife
bleed in me this emptiness you strive
love me savagely as raw
Be my rebellious barbarian and my platonic law
Love me that way with no regrets
Lose me easy if you might
When you get bored of my sight
nothing to lose
if you let it loose
spell your ramblings to my roaming blues   
add one more reasonable sanity bruise
to that bleeding madness we both call
Conceiving more lifetimes out of the bruises of my soul.

Monday, December 3, 2012


I don't want to love you
more then i already do
exhausting the wicked words
building mind castles for two
torturing the poor verse
whipping  images out of the helpless verbs
enslaving structures,
brain storming my heart in euphoric raptures
posing bare soul by your side in an imaginary frame
when nothing fulfills my wild visions
i madly erupt in the void of your silence
scream with flashing dots
beside your name

I don't want to hold you
closer then i already do
tightly cuddling your being in me
curling within my lonesome melody
chasing your image like mad lovers do
around the corners of my mind

childish fights and instant make outs
less discipline and more sneak outs
a whole life we share
as vivid as i dare
and we become negatives
shots on a celluloid of black and white.

You are  in my everywhere
yet i keep running
hallucinating hopeful lines
Drained in the tunnel of dreams
as endless as it seems
our love does grow
with my heart whispers, your roaring winds blow
burnt with infatuation they go
Helpless Butterflies...
Still dance towards the light

Fatal addiction you are my love
you make me high
for me, you are the earth and the sky
that consistent and inevitable  
My probable impossible
Then i love you more...
Hold you closer to my shore...
pick you out of all the faces i see
in my arms i set you free 
closed lids on screen shots
yearning eyes in coffee steam
living a dream inside a dream
Rolling in the harsh cold sheets of reality
stained with memories that never happened
and purified with Empty promises we will never keep.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Your Cult...

In the temple of your love
i built a shrine
burnt some incens
poured some wine
out of my grapes
all the shapes
you take
as i invited your vision over for a ritual
This ancient actual
unfolded my drips,
Enchanted your fictional
loosened those arms 
of your mastering grips
charmed  in our pharaonic hymn
That monothiastic priestess in your cult
i am...

"Be mine"
Your turbulent wind whispered
with your name i am bewildered
shivers run along my spine
Crucified tears in a darkened line
rain droplets lay by my window
gentle autumn breeze rests on my face
who is winning this race?
your absent presence or is it my present absence?
making all sense of my nonsense
i sink...

Drawing hearts and a broken arrow
with the yearning steam
i touch your shadow
Then  you rise
Hail to your Highness
my prince of darkness...
before thee i bow
fields of beauty in me just grow
what can i say that you don't know?

Words are cursed in your spell
your love is heaven and sweetened hell
wrapped around your thoughts,
i fly universes
within your vivid mind
we cry, laugh smile and nod
we become the even and the odd
life istself stands still
time is what we plan to kill
closed my eyes on your calling sight
stared in my darkness aspiring your light
i fight...
your black and my white
i ain't  no angel nor you are a saint
we are the mad lovers From  the kingdom of belief
drenched in my madness i still fly
riding my hopeless dream to your infinite sky
melting like all my scented candles do
cinnamon roses and amber 
exhausting the breathless hours 
expecting what you never do
spread like red petals upon your alter
carved in reliefs all over your skin
one night you will return
I linger...

Bless that shrine your absence burn
Spell my blood all over your verse
swear and yell
crash and curse
kill those fears, smash all doubts
Restore my bruised soul to your heart
that even  fate can't do us apart.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The Muse...

On his own terms
he comes and goes
directing his life shows
On her, His every breath grows
handcuffed to his self made bars
on cloud n-9 prison cell
living his own heaven in hell
funambling between the stars
lonely like the moon and the sun
humbly pleases everyone
mercilessly whips his soul
even on the top, he can't have it all
misleading his heart
within her always, even when apart
racing his own shadow
refilling her memories hollow
She just don't get it
He will never say it
bleeding his smiles out
arms wide open for love
over and about

all he needs is a rewind button
a restore click
Fairy's magical stick
and a bunch granted wishes
mother's home made dishes
and old VCR movies nights
back to back
with world cup game
it is never the same
with PS3 FIFA fever
or 50 inch LED screen receiver
Connected always yet detached
To his own red flesh lizards attached
Love floats in little innocent eyes
humming his tucked in lullabies
wait, Moon is still up
His majesty owns the night hub
not till the sun shines on the love bundles by his side
that his aching hopes may lay aside
Heavy Eyelids silently scream
lips shiver with the quivering steam
puts off the cigarette
slips into her memories outfit
she is already around
Dreams land bound
can time return?
to when they were all around
to when it was only sister's red tights
and blue table napkin superman fights
that innocent kid
a favorite pink piano they said
father's roundabouts, tears shed
can they bring back the warmth?

so he runaway
A wild angry dream
strained from life
soaked in strive
eating his years with extra salt
consumed in fears, wearing his hart
a Fugitive to her imaginary arms
defusing fate bombs in killing charms
arrogantly submitted
Exclusively exhibited
candid and spotted
at the alter of the ordinary
sacrificed to his own time illusion Cult 
yet resurrected in her heart
the god...
and the Muse.

Monday, November 5, 2012


Dividing your picture
into thousand parts
to adore each one alone
like a prayer,
recited to your eyes
my tears roll
of ecstacy
each one on its own
without tiredness 
with all happiness
you will feel it
My little cells humming
Enchanted with your coming
darkened nights prince
kiss your every tear
one by one
till you shine on My sun
with This relieving smile
missed for a while
holding on to my lips
life will then become alright
for you are its light
to me

Imprisoning all these torturing thoughts

hurting your sensitive brain
let them all fall in vein
one by one
into my chaotic mind
that you shall never suffer
wrapping myself as your offer
and sacrificed Kurban

Crashing all limits of your existence

clearing you the path
with Young roses and grass
turning into a mad colors palette
blending your sins in my regret 
Painting you a stairway to heaven
would leave you my space
each word on its own
spelling the verse on your face
one poem at a time
Living Hell in your embrace
Burning to the rhyme
Rising with every line from Ashes
liberated to the core
in a house without walls,
not even a door
indefinite shore  
as i love you more
your pains i devour
only bliss, 
you are made for
may be a kiss?
i would lay still for
over and over
i swallow
your darkest warmest shadow
in my void
that spark in your gaze
deeper lines in my maze

we run and hide
in the layers of hope
cruelly we even elope
here, my hands to stop that seperation wind
melting to the memories rain
may you never feel any pain
no sadness again
hanging myself on to silver moon
pleading guilty to your absence thunder
sentenced to being your soul whisperer
living only in your beautiful mind
one flash at a time
collecting your pieces of my rejuvenated flesh
One per inch
carving your initials upon each spot
Territories wide shot
Geographically yours
Blood shed 
Beautifully unsaid
Toe to Head 
i still burn
when you turn
and never look back
To your very own Landmark.



Thursday, November 1, 2012

Birthday boy...

Dear November,
There you Rise as i whisper
each year i wait
but you always come late
and i get so excited on your second day
only few more hours away
His Birthday...
6.30 am He said
as early as he ever arrived in life
a lucky child they happily noted
loved by millions and owns Hearts
Top of each chart
His Kingdom is made of loving beats
Heaven is when My life, He greets
every day i fly
with a word, a line or even a sigh
Eyes get shy
so much warmth he brought
to the Wild Random Thought
Riding his dreams,
His energy beams
and i love him more...
This year stronger than before...

Eyes wide shut
like every year i start
celebrating his day on my own
Dress shopping,
beauty salon visit
colors and lights as much exquisite
Scented candles
roses in bundles
Room door sealed
Year wounds healed
I wear his aroma as fragrance
he is all about substance
i won't forget the cake
strawberry and cream i bake
colored ribbons and funny stickers
and when it's already midnight
all our loverswould rush to your sight
opening the window to let them in
the silver moon brings you beauty
and the golden Sun offers you grace
only for you king face..
Shouting star granted you wishes
may you never be any more far
tenderly joining butterflies and bees
dancing around the longing trees
you make the world spin
 darling, you win!
million hugs just for you..
Birthday boy...i just love You...

Let's go
over there beyond the rainbow
leave these heavy burdens down
Me the queen and You my crown
laughing our life out
happy as it should all be about
let's fly
away from the solitude ground
fairy tales kingdom bound
Bursting smiles
watching you play your macho tricks
that little boy with candy sticks
sweetness dreams covering them both
honey rivers of tickles and vows
innocent promises
eternal faithfulness
Life is heaven
That we don't buy

all we are made of is fun
me the moon and you the sun
close your eyes right now my king
to me you are my everything
one more time let's make a wish
smile for me and break a dish
dimpled you, getting ticklish?
here we are laughing it off
now you can come closer enough
breathe this whole year in and wwwoooffff
A greater one is on it's way
Spread your arms for a hug and kiss
This tight i shall hold you and never let go.

Happy Birthday My Challa...I love You, more than you will ever Know...

More than you will ever know
This heart adores your every blink
don't over think
You only own
This soul and Beyond


Saturday, October 27, 2012

All about You...

Why is it all about you?
The tune of the night wind
and the lonesome nightingale song
To you i belong...
I want to hug you when something goes wrong
And jump hysterically at your cartwheele
like a kid with you, i feel
I want to hold your hand and walk,
sharing coffee as we talk
simple complicated things i want
and i wish you even knew...
it is all about you

I want to hold you so tight
like a mother and a father
care for you like sister and a brother
I want to feel like family to you
and have these fights best friends over do
i want to rub your being to mine,
like wild lovers nest
hang on to your ribs with my chest
sculpt my loving with my finger tips to your spine
Heal your veins as they whine
to my skin in Perls of sweat
breathe in your ears my longing heat
grace my toes at your feet
i want our flesh to meet and greet
just like our souls do
it has always been about you

I want to write you my rhyming prose
Poem you down in a soulful clause
carousel spinning is your love
as here as there
you are everywhere
days pass and i don't call them
years fast fly with no memories to hold them
you give me what your heart skips
and i cherish what my heart grips
but the selfish lover is blue
Thirsty for more due
I want memories of flesh and blood
I want your scent to crash my bud
I want to save it in my mind
I want to touch you like a blind
Paint your every bone with my tongue brush
Shout  your name in a voiceless Hush

I want real tears to kiss away
Taste its saltiness on my lips
Real bones to crash in a hug
both our pictures scanned on a mug
loud laughs as we childishly sway
Then dramatically stumble and fall
yes, i want it all...
This sad but true...
 I know it is just about you...

I want to touch you like a Life born blind
and see you bare with all my heart
i want you to come in the late nights
forget your lighter and the cigarettes
i want to be this dancing silhouette
your smoking drew...
i want it all to be about you
i want to rush one day
to see you up close, just passing by
hide in your- behind dark shades- eye
smile as you leave your coffee
like us...
unfinished, undone and incomplete
and i savor where your lips sipped last
Then drench in that euphoric blast
i want no answers to my wondering
some queries are better left unknown
Red Tag Heuer specs ripple as you frown
Magnificent You..
Love that it is perfectly about you...
Now i want out of my own skin
even there, you reign within
wish i can hold my peace
shut my world wide cerebellum piece 
taming  my wild mind to behave
living in his own made up crave
but when you rise out of the blue
like God's own morning hue
i know it is as fair as true
That it becomes wholeheartedly about you...


Monday, October 22, 2012

Three Million knights...

Three million knock at your door
Every minute they love you more
Three million hearts you mightily reign
at times of loss and those of gain
Three million cheers by your side remain
There when you're blue
for hugs and warmth, virtually but true
Three million hearts beat for you
and When the going gets tough
They fear you might hide
Three million fighters collide
to heal your wound
keep you safely around
Silently they pray
you shall never go away

Three million knights you lead
Write their hearts out for you to read
140 characters at a time
Three million souls your words inspire
Dancing bare feet on your  momentum wire
Melting like ice around your fire
In your own khantastic Lovepire  
Three million stars feast around their moon
Three million buds awaits your verbal monsoon
Their Spring in your laughter
 Refugees to your love shelter
More then words can tell they long
Wait for your rise all night long
For you dear prince of darkness,
They sketch and paint
may be for real, they would faint
at your enchanting sight
and they write

Three million beats only wish you well
Little prayers recited as you are abroad or unwell
Three million From the heart kinda spell
Three million smiles you draw
Every time with a line you show
Three million Whisper your name to sleep
Three million rhyme your Being too deep
Three million roam in your sparkling sky
Three million evidence, can fly!
To each corner of the universe
you magically touch and dwell
Ever since your name was khan
Three million ones became that man
And when The good one wore his heart
Three million sparks enlightened his hart
300 feet high you jump
And Three million screams would feverishly burst
Along the road of madness they share
For Your labor of love they care 
Three million poems your mind would write
With every still of your own light
Turning their moments into pieces of prose
Till we breathe this life, it grows
Your love is their anthem and flag
Three million lovers Heartfelt yet faceless   
Riding your energy bird of happiness
Three million restless run, 
holding your hand as All for one.
Three million and more to come
King love you spread your wings in height
Only your arms can hold us as tight
Here for you no matter what my jaan
Three million with me will always love you more Shah Rukh Khan.   

Tuesday, October 9, 2012


like a shooting star
shinning from afar
You Rise
Dream like tune in disguise 
Your metaphoric voice
Tickling all my senses
inviting my madness
To your restless night ballad.
whispering all my wishes to the wind
I fly..
rambling in your sparkling sky
attended by the Daring moon
fearlessly embraced by your longing monsoon
wet like a drifted leaf,
i swing...
tenderly shivering beneath your wing
I breathe...

in the scented air
in my everywhere
Lay here in my bosom
melt in me as i blossom
feverishly as i invade your sight,
curl in your eyes
hide within the dangling sighs  
and just be...
as beautiful as you are in me
inspiring life out of your breathe
there i confess
Breathless you leave me
every time you blink
and breathless you keep me
the more in your love i sink
willingly drowning in your mystical mind ocean
wholeheartedly sprinkled in that mischiveous gush of life you breathe.


Thursday, October 4, 2012

Verbal fantasy...

It's alright,
let the words dance tonight
upon the glittering starry sky
tangling the letters of your name
let the velvet moon blush
and the whisteling wind hush
at your sight
let the scented breeze tingle 
your sandal wood and amber
caress my skin
as if i hold you within
burning the night
in a sigh...
let my eyes tell
your love is heaven and hell  
let me commit you willingly
and be forgiven or not
let me be that forgotten dot
your Being is missing
a gypsy tune for you to play
a little prayer for your heart to say
let me hide in your oblivion  
a believer

reciting you in my solitude
if i might..

I wouldn't ask for more insight
riding your beautiful mind tonight
and wandering in these twisted alleys of pleasure
sneaking into where your longing thought linger
laying around your magnificent wonder
Here is where you strain the laughter
and there is where you hide your monster
But the loving is everywhere
fields of passionate denial you spare
i stare..
Bewitched me in your illusion...
doomed with my verbal fantasy.



Tuesday, September 25, 2012

He said...

Love me some more
He said,
Leave not a word
cut my silence with your poetic sword
Be as savage as a Barbarian
as insane
like a vulgar pain
Erupt in my masqueraded face
Run me over, Invade my space
Break into my absent presence
smash all those tiered soldiers of resistance
Burn all my compromise Bridges
Brutally crash my arrogant fear
Beyond that classical smile,wipe this one rebellious tear
Rise in my dreams every night
devour my waiting moments with your twilight
accept who i can't show
object to what they all know Questions
Destroy my sand castles dreams
vigorously turn off my sun
Hold my hand as i run
stand in my way
plead me guilty to stay
sentenced to live some more
just for you to come
and love me some more

I am a man with no destiny
he said,
So be my fate
keep me in your bosom
as a hieroglyphic relief
be The priest and the thief
be the whip and the rose
bleed in me your wounded prose
Just llike that
be the earth and the sky
the timeless answer to my redundant why

Be the sea and the harbor
Be the home and the exile
stay for a while
when i ask you to leave
keep that denial
when i lie to your belief
read what i don't write
keep me not out of your sight
as i turn away
Hide me under your skin
Rain on my arid within
reply to me when i don't call
be always there when i dare to fall
love me as sinful
as painful
in my deep darkened soul, our memories roar
like a wave to hit the shore
Just love me some more

he said.




My Poems Recitations for My Shah...

VFXed.. Dreams.. Fan Notes..