Always on My Mind you baby...

Thursday, December 31, 2015

Together...


I don't celebrate anything anymore
but the carnivals of your to my eyes,
comings
i await your lunar arrivals
like the fasting believer awaits
his feast crescent
every gaze starves me full
and leaves me as hungry
the ebbs of your absence
fall on my aching shoulders of want
take at my resistance their toll
i drift
within my hallucinating tides
in defense mode.
Ready for your apparition
all of a sudden
i take my life off
stripping every moment without you
on the floor of my solitude
bare feet,
and heartfelt.

In the Heavy smoke of my dreams
i take a dip
drenched in your wined gazing to my verse rib
I bathe in your sunlight stare tub
rubbed with your every hint petal
soaked into the musky aroma of your indirect speech
rinsing all my doubts away in a dotted peck
that you melodiously send across the wireless universes
to my dimpled cheeks starry sky
i scent your returns amber
drip in your every screaming murmur
gliding in my vigorous linger
skipping in every dip a beat
washed away in the happiness floods
of your burning heart laughter
sinking my faceless face into your hiding glares
purified in the sacred water of your drizzle rising
so gracious you are my love
you come and bring a whole new world
of happenings in a peek,
that is just as tender
Howling your thunder
and lightening my darkest
in your storming silence,
tempest. 



Then I wear your alluring glimpse
My branded new dress
is your erupted pulse
designer, your Chirping Kiss
that i pick off your blood rush veins hanger
i like to fit into your getting only younger
free size scarred skin
released from within
like a gypsy thought that you finally managed
to put into floral words
I bloom
in between your sealed lips
roaming my curved mind hips
in a poetic blaze
weaved into your timeless maze
my blushing lines, boldly hiss
as loose as stitched
and for my vagabond hair style
i ride your rosy arrival for a while
clutched and clipped
sprinkled in your Aristocratic Oudh
and almost ready to celebrate your every festive arrival
serving my sweet surrender homemade rhyming cookies
and flying you over,
my bruises of the soul love pumped balloons.
"Together" you said
For this year and every coming one
locked in your juicy lips
and the rose petals of mine
Some Bulgarian Vodka and French red wine 
spilled over the New year's celebration
our love kiss fireworks. 



   

 


Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Fan Firewall

In a dark hall,
I saw
a tiered face 
happily smile
at your sight
a wrinkled skin
beneath her eyes stretch
the love of life,
at your arms spread
a mischievous sparkle
of a beautiful hope
drawn at your hands touch
i saw happiness
in faces that came just for you
i saw children of all ages
holding their breaths
at every fist in your way
silent prayers
at the flying cars
fear it might hit you
knowing it won't
but still, it's you!
I saw hearts raised in eyes
breaths held in throats
i saw tears running at your sad muscles grips
lives dancing at your fingertips
on a melody out of their soul
i saw it all
in a dark hall
sitting in my own world
with you
and your lifetime love story

So Rise
the sun in your eyes
and the moon
spread your wings
and hold the sky
fly
and let them try!
they can't ban of your mind
a thought.
This love you earn
this earth you carved with blood and sweat
nothing they can shall hurt you or might
i heard whistles at your name
claps at your every frame
i felt your presence
in every shivering flesh
at the crashing anger of your steps
and i touched your feet  
at that dark hall temple
where only blessings are offered
in uncounted numbers
and Hearts Box Office collection. 

Your smile
beats the pain
and when you laugh
the world is but an autograph
at your dimples flash
You may not see them
but they watch you
you may not know them
but they love you
just like you do,
unconditionally.
and then i saw Him
on my way in,
after a long week of work
and no pleasure
how many days turned into nights
sleepless beneath the life's bread wheel
which moments to steal?
He whispered to his exhausted self
watching a colored poster
waving from afar
going through the crowd
Counting in his hollowed pocket the cash
a vision of his loved ones sparkling eyes
at the worn out dark hall chairs
kept him on his feet
advance tickets will soon be at his greet
"may be she will finally of her heart,
laugh"
the man to himself whispered
"at the sight of the one man she probably adores,
more than me." 

I saw a boy with his school friends
cheering at the action Stunts
a group of college girls
their dream in your eyes swirls
fire sighs
at your unbuttoned shirt
and when your eyes flirt
even the silver screen,
went red
in our hearts bed
we got you covered
well warmed and wired
let them be 
you are born just to be
and for every life of me
i will be there.
along with all you inspired into your ecstasy
your backbone of love
and Full House always at your call,
we are your Fan Firewall.



Friday, December 18, 2015

Your day

everyday someone new
and the one we love is you
you are not yours anymore
all lines are blurring in your mirror
be it a blessing or a shiver trigger
ragging ocean or soothing river
you weather but never wither
like fine wine, the older the better
all cliches work for you
with much ease, you flow
who are you?
greeting you sometimes, he waves
when he feels your itching
after shave
on a skin that shreds faces
you wear in shadows and glares blue
So whomever you that might be
reaching out to your sea
holding with love, your shore
And he who walks by your side
not even he
you are way beyond your own, thee
numbers bow before your endlessly
and time, runs after you for a timeless selfie
what more do you need?
of ecstasy, you just got a seed
you pass lives in a flock of smiles
roaring your name on a spree
crossing universes of eternity
some boarded on their dreams birds
others just took the skyline leap
all on one heart
screaming your love in the deep
we hear you when you don't talk
and when you do, your words, we keep
standing tall on the fence of our minds
guarding you with each loving thought
chirping your loneliness away
holding the earth for you to sway
spinning along the melodies of your heartbeats
and praying in every religion for your happiness
Those you couldn't save,
have saved you 
And those you are saving now
are but in a long distance flight your love-belts.

you touch our lives in ways you can't imagine
you only do
and we learn how to 
riding our madness for you
the world becomes but a grip in our fists
wearing your heart up your scarred sleeve
gray hairs in your beard, red rush in your veins
the faces are all Gaurav
and the names are all the same
collecting you in cigarette packs boxes
and covering our power walls with your captions
keeping you in our tenderness drawers
for when the nights get a bit longer
for when we hopelessly linger  
we curl in your eyes quilt
and sleep.

I can't call this poetry
or may be it is
it's just that out of my heart kinda burst
like many who couldn't be there in the flesh
we know we are soul invited
to your everyday more than breathing experience party.
  
       

Friday, December 11, 2015

Daayre...

So, tell me
what do you do
when the longing gets down on you
and eats of your every piece anew
creeping into your resistance stacks
consuming your arrogant guts like snacks
and leaving you starving full
do you wish you never had to open your eyes
for keeping a face so dear
that you don't know what it looks like now
So far in a dream, so near?
do you brush your teeth 
rhyming a vague tune that may be 
was composed for her..
and every song lyrics you hum 
or get dressed only in her words
wearing unbuttoned verses tops
and worn out prose pair of jeans 
do you also wear her love?
as you leave your hair undefied
for her fingers to run the miles before you sleep
into its gravity
and pulls you through
do you also burn your fingers
in a cigarette long
you forgot you lit?
watching her dancing silhouette
playfully rising off the mute smoke... 
do you listen to her loud silence whenever you spoke
and in her absence, does your soul choke?
do you hold this coffee mug tight
as if she would rise on the black spill
rhyming into your veins her tune
turning your every December into her June
right into your heart
for phenomenal solace?
Do you put together her face
out of the puzzle pieces she is to you
do you put out the fire of time
calling her names nobody understands
but you two?
Do you ask the streets she never crossed,
for her feet?
and the roses she never got, 
for her breath..

Do you fight the demons of distance
showing your craving self beyond a pair of blue glares
may be she will swim their ocean once 
and rest in between your shore-lids?
do you taste her blood of oblivion
whenever you bite your lower lip?
this whole of emptiness that never get filled
no matter how wide you spread your arms,
a spot in the left, aches
that line of bittersweet breaks
like nothing makes up for her absence
nor presence
do you roam the late night streets of solitude
for her-never been to this town before- footsteps?
and keep her always in your plate a love bite?
because when its too dark, she is but your light
the blindness of your insight
and to her blurriness, you are the clarity?
do you slide on the curves of her mind hips
your fingers of ecstasy
as she rides your steel pole of fantasy
do you torture hope?
the way waiting rapes your patience
so you take out your seductive lot
and kill her with a shot 
then die along
tell me!
do you arrest this stupid tear
fleeing in the middle of a loud laugh
snuggling it right back
into the handcuffs of nostalgia
to a touch that you couldn't to your memory, save
and a tight hug that your arms only crave
and when you are home,
do you get for her Homesick?
 And when you can't live with her
nor without 
mute becomes your shout
and screaming, forever your silence
do you tell of your sweet lies,
only to her, your true?
too?
do you?
Because darling, 
i helplessly do
Infatuated i am, my love...
just like you.
      


Friday, December 4, 2015

Forever...

In the middle of nowhere
i found myself
alone with a broken car
and a bleeding heart
lost
in the arms of time
He came out of my soul
wearing my longing
unbuttoned shirt
with my tears drops
dangling off his skin

Wet
and ablaze
we met 
in a yearning gaze 
come closer, 
His eyes murmured
"set my body on the fire of your love"
drunk on his blurring haze
i yielded to the burning maze
traveling across the galaxies of want
He was kneeling into my car,
my life strip flashed at the reflection of his hair

in the thunderous rain
every glance told a story
every silence screamed aloud
his fingers working on the steel
my hands in the air
reach for his feel
we hugged in a stare

rode the stormy night in a glare
aware of our heartbeats
and of our time,
unaware
the flesh dance we share
and the two bodies
melted into one

In the darkness
you are my sun
only before you
i come undone
where have you been all my life?
the moments with you,
are all i could count alive
rising in his eyes
i fell
his arms my home
and my words,
his spell
"By my side, Stay"
He said
tuck me into the loneliness bed
cuddle my anger and despair
cradle my fears into your hair  
nurse this awakened melancholy to sleep
and hide me into your bosom 
as i gently, weep
Hold me in
when it rains
and Sway
for the Time in me  to stand still
and of you i can always get my refill
His Head moaned in my hand
as i softly kissed every erupting vein
rushing underneath, his blood   
"Away, 
i say
You take all my pains
I Pray,
together forever,
For every eternity, 
and a day.
If we ever Part in flesh,
if we ever may
i will never leave you
for i am in you all along 
Our souls are free,
and in love.

And in His kingdom of dreams
he made me His princess
Playing in me
his notes of desire
shivering in between his lips
like the weeping violins of fire
down the stairway of his fingers
every touch was a step to heaven 
i closed my eyes in his embrace
coming to the front lines of my powerless race
His tender grip
my nectar drip
"You're mine'
He whispered,
In in his`arms 
I trembled 
Breathing life into me,
Our Promise is forever,
my love,
of every eternity,
and a day.

     

Monday, November 30, 2015

Exploitation..

What to do with you?
your every part is to be gone through
and i am going to..
taking advantage of your whole view
using every weapon letter
for you're too good, even better
when undressed to my rhyme
one sigh at a time.
so get ready my love,
for my at your sight,
poetic crime   
The hair thunder,
roars upon the sky skull 
forehead canvas
lines of scroll
eyes on toll
your beautiful brain storming
erupts.
smiling frowns
my eyes evening gowns
dressed in your stare
what better to wear,
but your gaze
jeweled in your silence 
and characteristically sprinkled
in the 140 mystical drops of your coming.

I see you,  
Spilling wine
heart on the hazel line
screaming every sign,
on the mute.
your grooving eye brows
mischievous wind blows   
rising to my blink
as i deeply sink
in a tilt.
and as i fall
your wolverine eyelashes howl
reaching out to my breath
they turn in moaning hiss
asking for a kiss
one that i couldn't miss
O your hazel gates of hell
seduce me to your pleasure
of want.  

Then it hits me,
your eyes lightening
i burn in a smoking black suit Hotshot
that you are
your wide shutters plot,
as i playfully,
before your enlightening tempest,
word strip
Bold and shy
in each eyelid i set
and in between them,
i fly
in the arms of a wink
i of your rain, drink
on my drought a refill.
Ahh what do they tell?
i am buying whatever they sell
your eyes, my love,
in a reviving glare, kill!
sliding upon the sloppy aristocratic hill
my eyes fingers brush
your every scent on a hush
the noble dune allures me
and i am but a desert
in the realms of your Indian monsoon,
soaked wet.

And as your wordily water broke
my contracting lips womb spilled
every fetus verse that i conceived
off our Alphabetical mating
your loving words push 
as i bravely sonnet breathe
the lip lines parting at my tease
i beneath your fire tongues,
freeze
your sealed lips spread 
like your arms do
and contain my whole world
in a word,
that is meant and unsaid.
So i rest my case,
upon your fleshy bed
written on every juicy sheet,
and read
haunting your armored thread
with my bare poetic needle
for an ecstatic wed
you set it ablaze,
my long time wait
in another Classics roll
that like me 
in between your heaven portals,
tinder.
So i wander
stroking every inch
of your majestic wonder
into lucid metaphor
being one myself, 
in your love,
and i after that 90% left of you, my love,
am on a lifetime with all my pleasure, exploitation.  



  

     

      

 

    

 




 

 

        

 
 

Thursday, November 26, 2015

In the mirror

Who am i?
The one in the mirror
or the one who's looking?
Time stood still.
 I talk
He listens
I smile
He cries
and when i loudly laugh,
he is my tears.
 I feel,
He knows
I hide,
He shows
The one who comes in the dark
is my light.
He comes
in my shadow
I go in his flesh
The road he leads
and the journey is mine.

I burn
He is reborn
my fire,
His smoke
he visits,
when i'm not there
and i meet him only
in a glass stare
i am the prince
and he is the darkness
the moon in me
is off his light
sometimes he's angry
at my indifference
and i am always of him
running away.
  
He said,
Once you love it,
you lose it.
Whatever you have,
you don't.
Own nothing,
and everything is yours.
 What you touch,
flies.
What you feel,
lands in your heart.
Nothing stays,
unless you let it go.
Hide it,
and it shows
fight,
and it wins
hold it
and it slips
when you catch,
it falls.
Cry
for happiness
tear
in a smile
and run,
to stand still.
but laugh always,
it confuses the senses
and senses the confusion
Your shadows,
are light
My black
is your white
Far,
is Close
and loose,
is just as tight.
I know
what i don't know
and what i feel,
feels me
in this way,
i love you
just as you love i.

I smiled at his vision
like the wind to the wounded pigeon
I spread my wings 
in my worldwide prison
Their foot steps getting closer
 louder voices hushing clear
only my silence i could hear
"shall we start with the foundation sir?"
i saw him waving on his way in
as i sheltered my soul in between my lips
setting it on another Classics fire
"yes, go on, let's do it!
 we haven't got much time left here,
anyway"   
"Oh has the Air Condition leaked again sir? " 
Some wet lines rolling off the mirror
and they were salty. 
  
        
           
        
            

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Backwards...

Much is less
And if you don't love
You only love more
Your hug tight
Is a tight hug
A kiss long
Is a long kiss
closed eyes
are wide open.
The sealed lips,
Speak
And the spoken lips
Sealed
Meeting
Is parting
And closer Is far
resting
hurts
and the pain,
heals...
Never leave
Is a leave
And stay Is a go.
Loving you more
Is less
Coming to you
is going  away
Holding on
is letting go
Our love is as free
As we never are
unleashed
in a golden cage

Nothing you can take
But all
What i can give you
Is whole
Our silence Is eloquent
And every absence
Is but a mere presence.
I love you
You love i
Color me a sky
Is a sky me a color
Saffron is salt
Black is white
You are me
And i am you
Undefined,
is defined
Hollowed
is full
Words,
are fences
bonds are loose
Lie is truth
and truth Is but a lie
when is why
and why is a sin.

And sometimes i want you
like what i want and can't have
what i feel and can't say
like yesterday
and tomorrow
like loving you,
loving me.
Sometimes you're the air,
i breathe
Sometimes i'm the air,
you freeze
in the heart of an Ochre sky,
A face.
Sometimes you're the color of my love
And i am the prayer of your Heart
we meet in an ice-dream off the sun
You forget the world
and come to me
I pause my world
in a moment of you
we melt into a dawn of glass.
And if you're the hug
i am but the warmth
And when you're the kiss
i become the lips,
parting in time.
And sometimes You're just you
I am me
The sky is the sky
And the frozen glass
Melts into a lake of clouds
That is made of my tears.


Thursday, November 19, 2015

Reborn..

Come,
I Hum...
Your Soul drum
My Heart twirls
Our meeting whirls
in your existence eyes
where my path ends and begins

I Sun for you
I Moon in you
Sky around you
Earth on to touch you
A universe forms in me
of your face a starlight
and a beaming constellation

Call my name
so that i can live
encrypt me in your skin a glyph
Whisper to my ears
Torture my fears,
linger..
and in my eyes
commit the perfect murder
let me then be your safety shelter 
sentenced to my bosom cell
and i will be to your every loose hair
a guard.
 
Rain on me, my love,
waterfall!
into my arms
Your love is a monsoon
of forgiveness
And i am but a desert,
of virtuous sins.
You cry
sigh
lie
fly
and I burn
in your meteor of bliss
My fireflies of mist, hiss
In every breeze i feel you
And blow you with my poetic wind,
a kiss
Color me your dawn
paint my setting sunrise
be the mad lover to my surprise
Shine in your Ochre Hues
to my ice blues
Where we meet in a ray of glass
and Hug within a dream rainbow.
  
Just take me
as i am
Your eyes, my life boat 
and my lips, 
your blazing Ocean 
where i Hold you
away from the world
slipping through my fate
an eternity pauses
and time stops
All the moments turn around
forming your face
I run to you
burdened with myself
you open your arms
a hymn rises in my heart
Color me in your love
where i melt within
and in you,
i get every time anew,
Reborn.
 
                    

Friday, November 6, 2015

D for ...


D for Dream,
I have every night on the mute
D for Date 
Your glances pick me up
D for Drive
i take within your Icelandic breaths' Alp
D for Drums,
my Heart beats at your literal coming
D for Dance,
my soul twirls at your humming
D for Dress 
i wear of your single words
D for Dinner 
of your eyes stare boards
D for Dishes
of your lips pink pouts 
D for Drinks
of your spilling wine doubts
D for Dawn 
off your tears constellations
D for Drown
in your burning sighs
D for Drop
i become in u
D for Door 
you hold open for me 
D for Doomed 
i am at your paradise
D for Dessert
you serve upon your darling chest
D for Delight
every erupting vein of yours, mist 
D for Dose
i crave of your tongue
D for Drift
never away of my song
D for Dearest
i hold you within me
D for Darling
as you in between yourself and you, call me
D for Dare
or truth?
D for Dais
I roll in your love
D for Do,
i win!
D for Dangling
your tears on my cheeks
D for Dazzling
your smiles upon my face
D for Drizzle,
your pour
D for Dribble,
your raining flow 
D for Drench,
in me your silent sorrow
D for Drip
only of my soul whisperer- dip..
D for Demand
your heartfelt laughter
D for Dimpled
Your aberrated shafts of bliss  
D for Deep
as your oceans ragging in me
D for Determination
D for Domination
D for Dangerous
and D for Daffodil
D for Don't,
ever go away
D for Day,
my love, is just too long
D for Desert
it is my love for your rose, without your- in your eyes-
wala Dil.



     

Sunday, November 1, 2015

I am Gaurav

It's 1pm
you had probably woke up
done with your first Coffee i think
and a number of those lucky Classics
that like us, burn at the touch of your lips
only they get the honor of starting their short lives
in your tender solace
crashing their butts in your ultimate chase,
within the time ashtray.
no, i don't do breakfast, either
you get into your ripped jeans
and black tee
how you always in my dreams, appear to me
my heart jeans are ripped too! see!!
i euphorically beating at your coming, worn them out  
Oh i had those glares,
just like yours!
designer? i donno,
just branded my love...
and it didn't cost that much
just your smile would do..
down the distance elevator
you take off in your mind Beemer
flight number:Half century of your beautiful
destination: my everywhere
i get on my imagination chopper with you
and wear your seat belt of word signs
for safety
many dates you have for the day
my to do list is pretty packed as well!
Painting myself into your majestic black and white shots
and curving around your waving dimpled flash 
first, To be your Coffee mug
this way i'll get every time you need, a hug
or to be this wicked sun ray, that sneaks on your face
for a kiss fix
also i would heroically lose all my weight to the softest breeze
(This is big by the way!) 
to tenderly carry you off this world's heavy sweat
i would shape into your smokey silhouette
and swallow all your demons into me
to spare you the darkness of regret
i would harden also a bit
to hold your feet as you gently on your way, sprint
Then disappear completely as the life air
you for my own living, inhale
i would soak myself wet,
salty sweet lines on your cheek
every time your tongue get sealed
and your eyes to me, speak.

I would take their features, all your loved ones
so you will never have to in a biggish way, miss anyone
add a few verses more to my length crane
and crystallize my shutters into your Camera lens
so that you get to see how beautiful you really are
off my every lyrical click 
i would Turn into your after a long tiring day, insomniac nights
to rest into your arms longer
just like the good poet said
moon myself off your Safari window
for a poetic company
pillow talk your every hair into a peaceful sleep
cradling the butterflies of your mind in a metrical lullaby
and of course i can layer myself into hard covered pages quilt
reviving Douglas Adams's universal wanderings for you
to share with him a meal at the restaurant on the other side
i would bring them all back, if i could..
those who with pieces of your heart, left
and then i have to melt
into life saving heavenly raindrops
to hold your -at my touch- childishly smiling face
already wet
i would haphazardly into everyone you meet have bumped
to get a wave of your three perfumes mixed scent,
to my soul's memory bank, saved
i will now grow those Icarus wings
ride the chirping skyline for your one heart beat
i will be your on a wire bird in blue
see, just as i told you!
i have a longer list than you, to do!
Racing with time,
just like you
Decorating my mind room with your pictures, Gaurav
and furnishing my soul's heart house with my love
Fifty times more than you,
i do.

  
    

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Trick or treat?

I want to be the reason why you can't go on
and you can't quit
That irritating and necessary
I want to curl by the tip of your tongue,
at the doorstep of your resistance for a fix
addicted to your roaring hiss
To slip on your cheek when it rains sweat.
To itch where you can't scratch
and to stop when you only need more
I want to be the mad wave to your calm shore
always coming to you for a kiss
i want to be when you have it all,
that one thing you know you miss
when at your best, your worse
The inter to your course
the whisperer to your horse
and its humming wind.
 
I want to rush in your veins
like at my sight, your Adrenaline
that sweetly saline
as i poetically claim you mine
without your consent
your temple of repent
would be my bosom
and my eyes,
your alleys of lament
i want to taste your fear scent 
be your Halloween lit pumpkin 
wearing your indifference attention
and my soulful stunts' hat
rising in your Classics smokey flat 
in every haunting thought
burning in the ashtray of your insomnia
and hurling beneath the poems
you secretly echo to the winds of your solitude
chasing my every wordily ghost
seeking what seeks you the most
in the valleys of familiar darkness
that strange and intimate
every heart beat you skip
i sip
like the fine wine of nostalgia
your absence sometimes pour into me 
i dip
off your hesitation my certainty
and upon my broom of your mischievous tease,
i fly you my heart at ease
in terrifying black and white.

Scary it is my love,
how we telepathically reach out 
your speech off my mind dictionary
and my rhyming prose at your body stationary
so much office work we efficiently get done
my love,
just within your metrical stare margin
and my masqueraded creepy content
So, when they knock on your door,
the costumed children of my mind womb
give them of your eyes some candy-mint
and treat them into the fairies of your soul, 
a hug. 
                            
              

 

 

 

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Heart wishes...

In the alps of your heart
silly me,
fell in the abyss,
my love
It's burning lava in you
like in the middle of August
And i just want winter rain
i want ice,
when it's almost hell degrees centigrade
on the inside of a dormant hope
your running around empty cobblestones streets in old Dubrovnik
and double espressos in random coffee houses in Sofia
a tranquilized knee pain in the middle of a shoot 
i want it all, with no safety or root
i want a sunset park bench in the times square
i want a laugh that i don't know how to spare
packed up in a suitcase of time
and a backpack of courage
i want your tender savage
i want to take myself on a date
i want to know it's not too late
i want a Classic cigarette but that was once
a guilty pleasure between your lips
i want to touch where your eyes in me
mind kiss

See, i want your early mornings messed up defying hairs
and late night wrinkled sleepless sheets
in smokey, musky, caffeiny halo 
i want to quilt your familiar scent
i want your late night confessions,
i want to my heart, your vent
i want to inhale your voice-mint
and save your tone in my mind's treasury
i want to be your "no clue"
that you have, when they about me, ask you
your third Coffee cup on the row
for the day to go through
and some left over cookies
like me, your lips never touch   
i want random poems on public chirping napkins
that i get at my return of the ladies room
i want your prose wine sips off my eyes bottle
and your metaphoric attention as a main course
i don't even want your bad,
For dessert, my love,
always give me your worse
because i dream of a crashing hug that you would want
out of the bleeding bruises of my soul
that heals your pain.
i dream within my desert mirage,
your monsoon. 

I want dreams, that can't be forgotten
upon coming true
as off my broken wings i flew
unchained of sin and blame
I want to scream your name
with even one single doubt that you heard
I want of your gazes a herd,
Oceans that don't rage in your eyes
and river boats of joy
that i can lay in as you heroically row
I want of your drought, a flow
and in my burning heat, off your hands,
some snow.

I want faces that don't take your handsome features
and voices who talk to me, not in your tone
I want to shake people's hands without flying them a kiss
as if among the crowd, i can be the one you never miss  
I want to eat food that i don't assume if you would like
and fit into a pair of jeans without having to turn around before the mirror
for a sad check
I want to walk in streets where i don't keep inspecting strangers faces
for a familiar loved one
who hides of my eyes behind the blues, my Sun 
to greet a sea breeze without haunting your scent
that i never get to keep in my hair
I want to stop visiting the shores of possibilities
and soak my feet in the salty waves of waiting
I want to read Cohen and Bukowski
in a long train ride to nowhere,
without listening to your steady trying to finally sleep breathing
at my nape
I want to greatly escape
from you to you
and never be found again
oh i wrote this line before!
it comes nagging,
like the truth
that i want so much to believe .   



Perhaps i want so much
of what i can't even dare
but I want all your sadness to share 
I even want of your initials a tattoo
on a spot where even i can't see
I want to tuck your fears beast in me
and never be again the same 
I want books with your name
and a bed of the words you never say
Late night insomniac conversations over black Coffee and dirty jokes
I want life strokes
with a blood system that is not so sweet
and a heart that is twice as strong
I want you to sing me a song
after a card game that you wouldn't let me win
because i am prettier when teased
an upon your late arrival tight hug and hot meal
feet massage and bedtime stories,
I want your ease
but above all,
I want a blank page on refill
and an empty draft box. 

Give it all to me my love
and take only my beautiful
 a little of what you every day, 
with your more than breathing exercise,
bring
holding me guilty of this everlasting smile
that i owe you for the rest of my lifetimes to come
sentenced to your love for every life of me.
so, my love, here's to your golden jubilee
May all your days be as joyfully free
holding you every time in my prayer
till time behaves and wraps your soul up for me
as a fifty multiply infinity grows only younger,
 gift.

Happy Birthday my Shah, 
I wrapped you my heart wishes 
in a satin box of my verse
i wish this one meets your soul
and keeps you as warm and loved
in my prayers i ask for everything good for you
health, wealth, peace of mind and ease of heart.
Happy Golden Jubilee baby!
5o years younger and inshaAllah,
to eternity.




 

  

Friday, October 23, 2015

I am FAN

F A N...
Three letters
made of faces
one species, 
that is equally colorless  
earthly boundless,  
we are your blue birds,
we fly in a sky of our own.
Three featured letters
made of long sleepless nights
and longer awaiting day times
made of at your comings euphoria
and your silence restless stress
made of every word you share
made of those to you we shyly,
spare
made of never having to explain ourselves code
we all seal our hearts with.
made of plane tickets dreams
and uncontrollable tears at your sight
Three letters in our every darkness,
are the never going to be dulled,
light.

Three letters they said,
made of Heartbeats
red back seats
background music,
of heavy breathing
and loud sighs
soulful dreamy cries
then flash lights of reasons
in a clueless reality
we live in a few letters arms
a handle that can
reach out to where even the life air,
can't.
we hang in the wireless waves
rising into birdy loving waves
for a chirping sunshine
that hides behind our anticipation sign
wearing black and white
we scream in the mute
every time you tune in your flute
and play the melody of your soul
many worlds tear us apart
many endings that are nothing but another
starburst
loving you,
the only way we know how to,
king size   
madness in disguise
but when you call
we howl
you then moon,
as we wolf.

Tears roll
celluloid scroll
our reel real life filmstrip
Heart-wheels upside down
fire ocean crossed to drown
we are free
they can't get what we are about
those who hadn't seen you for us, pout
it is way beyond, even my fanatic words now
and your cracking three alphabetical lifetimes.


            

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

XO

There are some kisses
that if you didn't die in the middle of it
you don't deserve to live after
and in both cases you are up to the fact
that you really never had before it happened,
lived
this is how your eyes work
drizzling monsoon pleasures in a gaze
arousing storms in every beaming phrase  
contoured with lines of lust
glittered in indifference
your eyes sparkle only in want 
closer to a distance
parting lashes for acceptance
and calling in a muted tongue
that is cornea-ted in the mouth of thirst
ready to swallow me whole
your eyes, deep as your soul
the abyss, 
as i fall

Rising at your juicy sight
as vulnerable as your plight
your eyes breathe life into me
lip-syncing my words into their rhapsody
and as Bohemian
your eyes sing your beautiful tunes
in their hazel olive misfortunes 
Frenshing hope to my Anglo-phonic melancholy
in the cobblestone alleys of my soul's Quartier Latin
and over your London Bridge of Aberrations
They softly press 
your heart news mess
in my cherry lipstick headlines
i read into your soul papers
those banned articles, your editing fingers,
politically forbid
so i put on my words charm card
knock on your shutters door ward
and spell my smooching point of view
in a one on one interview
where your sunshine stare to my dew
as your eyes shooting crew
professionally handle my heart's every daring stunt
living on the edge of your border blink
asking for your tears to drink
and when your eyes wink
i into your brimming hole, sink
mouth-watered in a glare
roller-costarred in a fleshy glowing fare
lips crossed as you beam
your eyes know what to steam
dripping murmur dots  
theses convicted killers soul guardian shots
bring me down to your paradise brim
tossing my verse in a glancing embrace,
revived at your exhale look race
realizing how sweet it is to die in the middle
of your eyes elixir peck  
and taste my most deserving every other lifetime,
whenever your eyes and i,
telepathically lip-lock.
  
               
  
  
  



 
    

Monday, October 12, 2015

Chocolate box

Where can i start
your every part
makes my blood sugar rise
see, i had spoken to them,
your honey rivers eyes
where the sweetest promises nest
provided for and happenings nursed
delicate breeze spins as you blink
scented ripples dance when you wink
And i drift
in the breathtaking swift
as you, in your long lashes night,
tilt
i melt
at the hazel quilt
that only smells like your coming musk
dawn breaks at your rising
time wears its handshakes at your gaze
Ah..My wonder wall maze
i am playfully never wanting to be found,
lost

So, I write,
because i can't soar beneath the stars
i collect them into a necklace of words
around your nerve erupting neck
of solitude, for company
I ode
in your every creation mode
because i can't squeeze of the darkest life clouds,
for your dreams, some rain
to revive in my heart a hope
that in this desert of expectations
somehow, the bud shall bloom
and the fields of wishes will in your drizzle,
flourish

I ballad
off your sighs a country of tunes
where i rhythm myself home 
to paint your face a warm rainbow,
with my madness palette
your gaze i chase,
sparkling your eyes with your wonderful 
and sketching upon your every blushing cheek a rose
life gets cruel on all of us at times, my love
i want to make sure i can always carve your juicy craters
deeper, blowing at their every pose a flying stanza
and metaphorically chasing all your reasoning sanity away

 I line
when my days in your nights entwine
because i can't hold the time still
every time you become the time
because i can't spend the mornings
but in your sunshine realms
because i soul curl only in your verse palms
and i can't kiss your eyes goodnight
so i write,
may be the softest rhyme might
reach where my third dimension,
can't.

I write
not knowing the fate of the verse
i give birth every single time on my own
in my black forests of pain
giving away my children to your love alter
at the temple of faith,
a kurban.

I write
drunk on my illusion
sober to it's confusion
selfishly claiming security
and selflessly offering it all away
because i can't nurse you some memories
of my colored hair and fair skin
of my virtuous laughs and dreadful handshake sin
i weave you of my imagination breed, some
because i can't before you for real but come undone

I write 
So that i get to hug you
in a world of our own
tuck in my mind life cradle, your angry frown
just as tight as my out of this world, words
do
So that in between the lines
i meet you
and plant you all my love in a long poetic kiss
upon your yielding eyes'lips,
and capital letters arms crashing embrace.

I write
to ache this sweet tooth i have for you my love
getting scolded by my poetic fitness trainers
every time i taste your coco dripping nectar
in a darkened 99%Lindt verse
and a whole box of Rhyming lifetime-long "kisses". 

 
Photo is an artwork painting by the talented artist: Wijdan
 @WijdanArt
       
  



Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Hemorrhage...

AC is a bit cold
scattered joy sticks
on page 27 open book 
where is the Coffee you just sipped?
that quill in your blood, had dipped  
blowing life lessons into curvy lines
and intimate breaking turns.
Friday nights fevers
around the world agnostic believers
street-less roads of loneliness
paved of protesting nerves and rebellious guts  
"Should i start with the barking memories,
to calm the nostalgic screams?
or get into the euphoric happenings
to scream this nostalgia calm?"
O did i mention your charm?
well, it is how you get there
in the heart of every heart
spelling yourself in a glimpse
and hiding beyond a cheerful mess
too many dying Classics butts
keeping the ashtray as warm
red ink drops
fifteen million love pops
mention-beep never stops
luck that is not by chance
sleepless nights,
insomniac mornings
retake frames and smiling cuts
ice bags for kisses
tenderness lands in the eyes,
he misses 
acting smart
when the joints smart
The prince of darkness
is the nomad of his spotlight
a storm of thoughts breaks in your mind
the journey ecstatically on flash-rewind
tears unseen
pecks on screen
your dimples craze
in hugs ablaze
under stage roars
human hearts floors
where every piece of you pours
craving the love you generously, 
accepted.

Living in a suitcase
always ready for a soul flight
Home had never been a place
perhaps that is the plight
unanswered queries
wandering in your speech
hopping around the direct preach 
to the humorous spin
it spreads your veins open
that pregnant blank expecting 
in labor pains of recall
delivery could be any minute now
 you space break
and stare in your self's face
for inspiration 
just like i do
when i write you off you
all red wined and marinated
Your smokey breeze
musky, as i breathe
some million miles away
where i helplessly, sit
bleeding to my keyboard   
Linguistically caffeinated
and my lifetime sheet,
just smells like you.
Watching over you,
from behind the curtains of my soul
returning your every call 
encrypting my hymns
on the mellow walls of your thunderous silence.

Taps on the door
your heart crumbles on the floor
For a late night shoot,
they call
you stand as tall
wearing all your expressions designer palette
you turn a bit higher the AC freezing set
unbuttoning your bursting heart's shirt
and dangling another deadly life savior,
that on your way out,
you forgot,
to lit. 

       



 


  

 

 

My Poems Recitations for My Shah...

VFXed.. Dreams.. Fan Notes..