Always on My Mind you baby...

Thursday, December 27, 2012


Just go!
go away
stop chasing my patience in your silent presence
with the noise of your screaming absence
beg no more
i am in to the core
in control
there, out of my reach
be my granted New Year wish
come true
wholeheartedly due
fade away
like childhood promises
with the shooting star
Then stay
as close as far
wrap your heart
with my impossible ribbons
pack your dreams in my box of hope
shine in my beams for fear to elope    
Your Seasons bliss
My longing mess

Hey love, vanish...
from all the faces i see
claim your rights in me
you are Home,
my Refugee
come to light my seasonal tree
i need your pain
run out of my vein
one day i will seize to be
i breathe you as air
mean you when i share
Feel you as much as i dare 
So when it's all insane
glittering love around
like children innocence
that genuine true
for more then a lifetime, i want you
out of the blue
So i hum...

For you to come
rise in the mad chord
ride in my dream your unspoken word
just come
been feeling numb
As without you
is what i can never afford
for you the land is dressed in snow
more fireworks in my sky will blow
just come
upon my heartbeats drum
as i enchantingly sway
never never go away
or ever ever in silly pride obey
my feverish supremacy in control hallucinations.

Bench Monday, cozy home edition.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

At the corner of a memory...

As a little girl
we used to have a tree in class
there in the corner
that we brought in with laughter
much fun sharing 
with all hearts decorating
with each hanging star a wish
we were too small to get anguish
filled with dreams
Christmas was our time of joy
gathered around each with a toy
exchanging with hugs and mere innocence
the world then seemed of no importance
Dressed in red with a white beard
Santa used to visit our school
a believer of hope me,
such a little fool
i even used to buy a new dress
with my friend Catherine i visited her church
gathered my hands together and prayed
God was there
God is everywhere
In the eyes of bleeding Jesus 
as he shines in the Heart of Mohamed
like all children i was an Angel
who never got the fact 
of her best friend not being by her side
in religion class
still that Christmas tree is there
in the same corner as i stare
but where is the season laughter?
where is the jingling carols whisper?
Is it December that lost it's memory?
or have we just sadly grown up...


Monday, December 17, 2012


You make it so hard for me not to love you, he said
love me just..
I said with a blink
like a favorite shirt,
you enjoy it's silken fabric touching your skin
that you would not wanna take it off,
yet eventually you do
you have to
Hanging it in your wardrobe for your next comfort seeking rush
in a memory's gush
along with a flashing face
that instantly fades
For your longing serenades
love me, like an all times melodious tune
Softly humming in your head
as you move on ahead
holding you grounded to where you felt yourself the most
Rising a tost
To us and Our guilty pleasures

love me, like a much awaited visit
that brings you gifts and presents, then goes
like that Excited spark in your eyes who knows
naked truth it is, our vows
love me like a peculiar scented moment
that sticks to your sense then grows
as the wind of sanity blows
shaking our lies to Exposition
Bare we stand
beneath the wind
love me, without asking for shelters
love me, like it is all going to end up soon
love me, like heavy rain, be it a monsoon
love me like a thunderous wreck
like an angry Hurricane slick
love me this euphorically flowing
love me without thinking where are we going
quit the ingredients lists  for the logic chefs
we are the mad wanderers schmucks
love me more when i am frightened
Without you on its own, sucks!
love me without knowing why or when
end with me and within me begin
love me like your last pack of cigarettes
which flavorly touch your lips
then slips
into its burning fate fire
love me, like your morning first coffee sip
that hungrily slides along your tongue tip
love me, like a wild safari trip
to the jungles of your mind
put me dearly on rewind
and start me all over again
we don't have much of a forever
and safely is not where we pull our trigger
love me then like a daring game
that you must win
like an unforgivable sin
that you will spend your eternity repent

Cut all my veins with your absence knife
bleed in me this emptiness you strive
love me savagely as raw
Be my rebellious barbarian and my platonic law
Love me that way with no regrets
Lose me easy if you might
When you get bored of my sight
nothing to lose
if you let it loose
spell your ramblings to my roaming blues   
add one more reasonable sanity bruise
to that bleeding madness we both call
Conceiving more lifetimes out of the bruises of my soul.

Monday, December 3, 2012


I don't want to love you
more then i already do
exhausting the wicked words
building mind castles for two
torturing the poor verse
whipping  images out of the helpless verbs
enslaving structures,
brain storming my heart in euphoric raptures
posing bare soul by your side in an imaginary frame
when nothing fulfills my wild visions
i madly erupt in the void of your silence
scream with flashing dots
beside your name

I don't want to hold you
closer then i already do
tightly cuddling your being in me
curling within my lonesome melody
chasing your image like mad lovers do
around the corners of my mind

childish fights and instant make outs
less discipline and more sneak outs
a whole life we share
as vivid as i dare
and we become negatives
shots on a celluloid of black and white.

You are  in my everywhere
yet i keep running
hallucinating hopeful lines
Drained in the tunnel of dreams
as endless as it seems
our love does grow
with my heart whispers, your roaring winds blow
burnt with infatuation they go
Helpless Butterflies...
Still dance towards the light

Fatal addiction you are my love
you make me high
for me, you are the earth and the sky
that consistent and inevitable  
My probable impossible
Then i love you more...
Hold you closer to my shore...
pick you out of all the faces i see
in my arms i set you free 
closed lids on screen shots
yearning eyes in coffee steam
living a dream inside a dream
Rolling in the harsh cold sheets of reality
stained with memories that never happened
and purified with Empty promises we will never keep.

My Poems Recitations for My Shah...

VFXed.. Dreams.. Fan Notes..