Hide and Seek...

I look for you
in the alleys of my longing
in all the eyes that don't see me
in the street where you don't go
in my heart where you always show
within the glass vitrines of my soul
i hear your call 
out of my crystal ball
your rise, my fall
i smash all these ticking clocks
strangling time off my existence
As i look for you
in the hugs that i didn't get
in the love words that you didn't utter
in the beautiful pain that we suffer 
in the gut and the gutter 
behind your most elegant shutter
i look for you 
in the pretend and the real
out of the pain and the heal
i reach out
to where you lay behind the bars
of your delusional freedom
i hold your sweating mind
exhausted thoughts land in my arms
Tormented as they tenderly melt
i know how it felt
i have been there
in your everywhere
yet nowhere
because i look for you
in the cheerful and the blue
fish for your every news
in this crowded city of yearning
your violent silences abuse 

i look for you
in between the sheets of my sleepless nights
around my weary morning
in the steam of my lonely coffee
i look for you within the burning silhouettes
of my first cigarette
i look for you in the hopeful 
and the get
in the papers of fears
the blooming buds beneath my tears
i look for you in me
as i fold my arms tight
holding your eternal hologram presence in my scented air.