Always on My Mind you baby...

Monday, September 21, 2015

Sleeping Pill...

Everyone says that they love you
even i do!
but i don't know what love is
i dig in deep
i don't sleep
all day i wait for you
and my nights
wear sunlight
only when you shine through
in a word or two
or even better, a shooting see-through
see, i spent hours trying to decipher
the hazy brand on your carelessly
standing there, perfume bottle
in a picture that was taken
while you were not aware
as i long to pick myself up of your stare
and hysterically wondering,
if i ever were...
then i decide to stop
so i helplessly ask in every tobacco shop
for your deadly shot of Classics mercy
since it's the only mouth you kiss 
all the time for an instant comfort
and it takes your breath away
i illiterately read into every urdu ghazal
and Persian Prose
for a sher that can find you
just like you effortlessly found me
then i fall flat
may be you're not so much into that
or into me
i laugh louder then
how important you make me feel!
making me out your reel,
all your words i steal
to weave you a cloak of metaphors
something for us to hide beneath
when the eyes are but whips 
lashing our salty- wounds hearts
i read Pessoa and dream of being 
your Ophilia
and hold my empty notebook
feeling like Milena
as you Kafka me on with your eyes letters,
in a Ghalib cup of wine
or a khusro river drown
sometimes when i pen you down
i get to be Nin or Wolf
that great and forgotten
like a sappho stanza 
or a lethen River
until i poetically shiver
praying one day you will wear the Neruda cap
and release your rose or topaz in a sonnet
Inviting Rilke, Cioran, Porchia and beckett
all of them come to laugh at me
at my last dinner table of streams
and i share them the toast of dreams
along with a smile

 I see you meeting people everyday
they all take of your soul
and i wonder, who gives you back
to stay the way you are as whole?
living in a sea of darkness wearing only starlight
how do you manage your gracious super moonlight?
when all they really want is your eclipse
then i rest my case
there is a reason why you're off the chase 
you're a Heart man
made in love

As i get back to my vanilla scented candles of hope
i let the wax melt to burn my skin
but i feel nothing
strong hands i must have
and a mellow heart
that get burned with the tears
that you don't shed
unless they ask you to
and clap in admiration once you do
you also smile then, wiping them off like guilty sins
and run to get purified in a laughing dirty joke
breathing some nonsense air in a resuscitating smoke
I envision you always in the places you hide
pretending to be asleep
drawing a happy smile as you weep
or holding a book you don't entirely read
talking to people you don't know
perhaps they would give you back
something you had lost
riding your loud silence most of the time
like who would care to listen
but some million miles away,
a crazy lover do!
i can feel you chasing one word all night
and surfing your mind's filmstrip for a dear scene
your eyes replay, every time you blink
how you let them believe what they think
and mischievously get away with your comic strip banded head
i find you in what can't be said
in the life of the dead
too long is my list
but basically i have you in my mind's bed
cover you with my childish thoughts
and  mumbling some rock&roll lullabies
crossing my heart you would come that night
for a beaming flash or a longer visit
and i get to have my of you, refill
everything beautiful i buy off your eyes and sell
to the greedy time sheet
so that i can remain sleepless
and have your all swallowed to mine,
in a sleeping pill.




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