The lonely Vampire..

Redefine in my skin
Grasp your shivering spin
turn around my altar
sacrifice your heart
burn my incense
bend to my power
as mad as a lover
cursed with your extacy

the king of the night
roaming like a homeless knight
shy and bold
the story untold
of a lonely vampire
doomed with desire
and the backdrops of fantasy

you crash into my dreams
invited to the ball
returning the silent call
to be reborn and sold
shaking to the bones
reciting the sacred moans
hiding in the cloak of fear
hiding this saddened tear
the master of the dark
shines with the scent of death
adorned with the divine wreath
walking to you
ready for a bite of life
enchanted by a strife
touching the dangerous wire
of the lonely vampire
redeemed in my skin
blessed and convicted
as a martyr of your virtue
and a fighter for my sin.

To the Vampire who inspired this piece,Reigning the night from the castle of hope.life is nothing without Pain and pleasure.




JUST THE WAY YOU ARE..it is perfect enough.

Waiting for a shooting star..

when u re late
i wait
its my fate
to live the distance
as the destiny of resistance
shine on my night
like a shooting star
that u are.
u rise in my dream
a ray from heaven
and a burning fire
of desire
cursed with hope
i elope from me to you
driven and purified.
i hav released all my demons/
all my fears melt at your gate
it is fate
to wait
told and hidden
allowed and forbidden
folded in your shroud
guilty
but in your arms..forgiven.

The daily trial..

he is whispering hymns in the vain
not able to feel his own pain
a southern wind in the northern cold
there was nothing much to be told

covering all the wounds with a smile
judging his heart everyday in a trial
how can i accept what has been given?
how can i give what can be accepted?
how can i reveal what has been hidden?
and hide from what can be revealed
how can i define?
how can i write my own line?
how come that the southern soul
would melt in the northern fall
how can you be a bird in my sky..?
when u just don't know how to fly..?
u can be a star in the night
but u can never be the moon
you can be the candles shy light
that will fade away soon

someday u ll leave
like falling autumn leaves
all dry and fragile
that's how they play the game
when things can never be the same
it leaves you with a cold face
and a shaking smile
with all the world to chase
living your own daily trial

Fly ...

The breeze is cold
Truth untold
I saw my star
Shining so far
Can i smile now?
Or can i cry..
Is it time to live?
When i can only die..
i wish i can fly

Here i am
Laying on the grass
Time pass
The world is moving
Yet i m still
Enchanted to kill
My peaceful years
With striking bullets of fear

silence is healing
wish it wasn't too loud
tasting the drops of rain
warm and salty
like the tears of pain
raised my hand to the sky
embodied my whole with a try
touching my destiny
with a magical stick
we will click
my star and I
only if i could just fly.

this one is dedicated to a dear friend of mine who will certainly learn how to fly one day..:)

The Kite..

The innocent young boy
Was holding his kite
It’s almost midnight
But it just flew away
There was nothing he could say
He watched it fading
In the deepest ocean
Chained with emotion
He tried to play alright
What a fight!
Same colors
And just as bright..
Why do I miss my kite..?
Wondering in his heart
Why are we just so apart?
Come back to me dear kite
I ll paint your tail..
With black and white
No more shades of gray
No more running away
He watched the shooting star
Made his secret wish
And blew his scented candles off
Holding his colored fall
He was never a whole
His soul was aching
His tears were breaking
To the ocean he had his sight
May be one day, he will get it back
Colored so bright
His running away kite…

the Atheist prayer..

I walk,
and you walk with me
like a wind
that blows on the sea
like a fire
that is fond of destruction
like a daring wire
that is bond to prediction
is it race to win?
Or a cloak of skin
that is yours and mine
the destination unknown
hidden and shown
like a beam of light
you crash my solitude
the attitude…
like a thunder embrace
I run to you
With million demons to chase
I run to you
Defined by your existence
I am the gift of the Gods..
Divined on your altar
The worshiper is doomed
When the beats strike
To the drums of the soul
Relieving life
From the burden of a whisperer
who lived once,
to be your home…
and died as your refugee…

Out Of Fuel..

turning the engine of the memories
pouring more longing fuel
the sun rises on me
in the middle of the night
would it be right?
if i just turned back
hold my life to unpack
get your dinner ready
and arrange your dates
swallow my pain
greet your mates
launch the perfect frame
would it be the same?
if i lock my wildest fears
remove the poisonous spears
of betrayal
accept your denial
as the insane truth?
the road is too long
replaying the very same old song
old Vowes of forever
broken promises of the "never"
warm tears rolled on my face
ending the mad race
as the car took off
the engine screamed loud
running out of longing fuel
when will i find the next gas-station?

to you..the prince of Darkness (shah Rukh Khan) the human being.

witty
clever extremity
The prince of darkness
is black and white
dark but bright
deep and wise
the other and the otherwise
sweet and sauer
like an orange in a longing night
fills you with hope
and leaves you desperate
candles burn in his absence
like purification offerings
and the souls shine in his presence
like the endless moonlight sparklings
he breaks the rules of the impossible
merges in the fields of the unknown
he makes dreams very possible
with a touch of his heart
he reaches the faraway
spins the known
melts the stone
of the freezing humanity
his pain touch with happiness
his tears brought up with smiles
frightened
enlightened
blessed and doomed
he is never to be described
words can not do him enough
to me he is an inspiration
that brought me back to life
when i thought i ran out of breaths.

i have never tried to write about someone before,i always felt it might never be fair to describe a human being with words. But to me he is not just another human being,he is way beyond my words. i was just trying to interpret some feelings i had when one tear dropped on my face.
Sir,your heart is way kinder then any poems..accept my apologies if all i have are words..when you gave all your life for making ours better one that deserves living.

the loud silence..(at the door step)

the phone rang twice
she was on her way out
at the door she turned around
her purse fell on the ground
so did her heart
loud voices screamed out of her
silence was noisy
when the noise was silent
the years flew by like a filmstrip
smiles and tears
hopes and fears
broken promises
fulfilled invitations to hell
pretending all is just well
shattered at the thought of the farewell
the ringing starts again
so did her agony in a refrain
trembled wrinkles
agitated cheeks
scattered at her own shell
it was never just a ringing bill
how can i shut this silence off?
how can i breathe your absence
like the formula of my existence?
how did you manage to set free
your own proclaimed lifetime refugee?
the ringing didn't stop
she kneeled to hold the purse
blessed with the fatal curse
of resistance
she closed the door
reached the first floor
when the silence is still loud
but in her heart
the ringing stopped
along with the life beats.

in a bed of roses..

She sunk into a bed of roses
wrapped in the sheets of dreams
purified in the name of devotion
identified with the passionate sin

never cared if she wins or loses
always stared where the light beams
personified as the priestess of emotion
cursed as the magical spin

laying in the hands of fate
filled with hope
thrilled to elope
to where nobody is found
and no turning around
deaf and mute
definite and absolute
chained and free
her fight is to be
the mummy that retains
the secrets of darkness
adorned with the recited spells of love
martyred in the time of creation.

Me the kid growing up..

“All I know is if you don’t figure out the something you’ll just stay ordinary and it doesn’t matter if it’s a work of art or a taco or a pair of socks … just create something new and there it is. And it’s YOU out in the world … outside of you and you can look at it or hear it or read it or feel it and you know a little more about you. A little bit more than anyone else does.” ~P.S. I Love You, Film (2007)

I believe in the art of creation. We all have this amazing ability to discover new territories inside of us but we don't try hard enough. I knew i had some connection with words ever since i was a kid. The idea of verbal  communication fascinated me.  I spoke early was very curious child. Always ran to books for company, somehow i knew they 'll always be there and i was never alone ever since. My mom used to go to work and leave me with a story book in hand. I used to read it and reread it and made my grandma reread it for me to make sure i didn't miss a single word. My dad used to take me to the book store every month if i get high grades, i usually was top of my class not to miss my prize. I grew up seeing my parents reading and writing all the time as university professors they had this gene of seeking knowledge which i think passed on to me. I don't know if i am being self centered but i know me better so i can see my best parts clearly i guess. And this thirst for knowledge never left me.
Through this life journey i realized that we all have so much more potentials then we can possibly imagine all we need to do is dig in ourselves. Believe we are more than we seem to be. Bring out the treasures covered with layers of insecurities and fear.
Don't be scared to fail, it is just a step towards success. As much painful it gets, there is always another day coming up, another time to try harder. My mother always told me that it's not wrong to be wrong but it's always right to know you are. Accept and change for your own good. 
The best moments i ever live are those when i know something new or create something new even if it was as beautiful as a smile on someone's face.
Read people! it gives you power and you grow up not in years but in hearts.

Curiosity..

They always ask me
why are you smiling all the time?
why do your feet move at the rhyme?
why do you care?
and i stare..
the nowhere is just ahead
Inside of me
there is a colorful fare
folkloric dances
lifetime romances
children laughs crack in my head
million words that need to be said
phantoms of sadness are powerful
they hunt the fairies of joy
breaking the childhood toy
the dancer in me is still
the smiles dry
the dreams chill
encrypted lines seal the heart
endless is the point of start
they say i am smart
i know how to fall
smiling the pain of the crippled tears

ME..
i don't cry easily. but i shed silent tears more often.

“Let your tears come. Let them water your soul.” ~Eileen Mayhew

Late Morning coffee..

Woke up so late
Was it fate?
Meeting the unknown
Staring nowhere
was it fair?
Questions rise like the dawn of light
Answers fade as wrong and right
Had my coffee and one more smile
Closed my eyes ready for the trial
Inhaled your absence
Exhaled my confusion
Sometimes fate is
Nothing but an organized illusion.

On a new year's eve..(Bal masquee)

Restricted wishes
Broken dishes
on a new year night
Colors of shades
Innocent blades
meaningless illusion
on tiered faces
untrackable traces
that lead to the truth

birth of hope
delivered in fear
blowing candles
that were once dear
extracting pain
losing to gain
allowed to your heaven
doomed and driven
ascending your stairway
guilty and forgiven
breathing your essence
inviting my presence
that is blessed and forbidden

ME..
after a long time of not writing,today i felt inspired to write again.